Showing posts with label timeline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label timeline. Show all posts

Monday, March 2, 2020

“Her family is broken and she is in agony.  Her children are recovering from the events that brought about the filing.”

"The job of the DCFS is to make sure the children are in a safe and secure situation. As we said earlier this week, childcare professionals encouraged a legal agreement accepted and signed by both sides that was in the best interest of the children. Angelina said from the beginning that she felt she had to take action for the health of the family and is relieved that after their 8-week involvement, the DCFS is now satisfied the safeguards are put in place that will allow the children to heal."

"The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification."

"We care for each other and care about our family, and we are both working towards the same goal.

"We are and forever will be a family. I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer.

“It’s just been the hardest time, and we’re just kind of coming up for air. [This house] is a big jump forward for us, and we’re all trying to do our best to heal our family.”

"We’re all just healing from the events that led to the filing . . . They’re not healing from divorce. They’re healing from some . . . from life, from things in life.”

"My whole family… we’ve all been through a difficult time. "

"I've spent most of my days just taking care of the children. I will eventually balance more and do more work but because of family issues it's been extremely tough.

“None of it’s easy. It’s very, very difficult, a very painful situation, and I just want my family healthy.”

What do you like about being a single? And what do you dislike?
"I don't like it. It's not something I wanted."
Is there a good side?
"No. I'm sorry, there’s just nothing nice about it. It’s just hard."

"For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street.

"I do remember a few spots along the road where I've become absolutely tired of myself. And this is a big one. These moments have always been a huge generator for change. And I'm quite grateful for it. But me, personally, I can't remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn't boozing or had a spliff, or something. Something. And you realize that a lot of it is, um—cigarettes, you know, pacifiers. And I'm running from feelings."

“In the ’90s, all that attention really threw me.  It was really uncomfortable for me, the cacophony of expectations and judgments. I really became a bit of a hermit and just bonged myself into oblivion.”

"I'm really, really happy to be done with all of that. I mean I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family. But even this last year, you know—things I wasn't dealing with. I was boozing too much. It's just become a problem.

"I mean, we have a winery. I enjoy wine very, very much, but I just ran it to the ground. I had to step away for a minute...But the terrible thing is I tend to run things into the ground. That's why I've got to make something so calamitous. I've got to run it off a cliff."

That's the thing about becoming un-numb. You have to stare down everything that matters to you.
"That's it! Sitting with those horrible feelings, and needing to understand them, and putting them into place. In the end, you find: I am those things I don't like. That is a part of me. I can't deny that. I have to accept that. And in fact, I have to embrace that. I need to face that and take care of that. Because by denying it, I deny myself. I am those mistakes. For me every misstep has been a step toward epiphany, understanding, some kind of joy. Yeah, the avoidance of pain is a real mistake."

If I'm not creating something, doing something, putting it out there, then I'll just be creating scenarios of fiery demise in my mind. You know, a horrible end.

“I’m not suicidal or something. There’s still much beauty in the world and a lot of love. And a lot of love to be given."

"I know the people who love me know me. And that's enough for me."

"It's a different world, too. We know more, we're more focused on psychology. I come from a place where, you know, it's strength if we get a bruise or cut or ailment we don't discuss it, we just deal with it. We just go on. The downside of that is it's the same with our emotion. I'm personally very retarded when it comes to taking inventory of my emotions. I'm much better at covering up. I grew up with a Father-knows-best/war mentality—the father is all-powerful, super strong—instead of really knowing the man and his own self-doubt and struggles. And it's hit me smack in the face with our divorce: I gotta be more. I gotta be more for them. I have to show them. And I haven't been great at it."

"It's this Marlboro Man image of: Don't show weakness. But then we were questioning: In doing that, are we actually denying our own feelings? Denying a part of ourselves — a vulnerability, in this guise of Superman — to really be open for our loved ones, for our sons and daughters, in the sense that we're all flawed... And is there a peace of mind that comes from embracing one's foibles and humiliations as well as our successes?"

"I think it's cyclical, certainly in America the post-war generation was all about strength and not showing weakness, and winning. And that works to a certain degree, but I think more vulnerability, more getting you arms around your successes and your failures, makes for a better partner, a better dad, a better son."

"Is a better definition for us actually being more open divining a better relationship with your loved ones, with your parents, with your kids, and with yourself?”

"A breakup of a family is certainly an eye-opener that as one — and I'm speaking in general again — but as one needs to understand, I had to understand my own culpability in that, and what can I do better. Because I don't want to go on like this."

HOPKINS: And you’re as easy going as ever.
PITT: "Pretty much, it’s my gliding speed. But I lose it at times. I get sucked into something, and I can lose it. I take my hands off the wheel."

"I'm an asshole when it comes to this need for justice. I don't know where it comes from, this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. It's done me no good whatsoever. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I'm well aware of that. I hit the lottery, and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits."

"When I get in trouble it's because of my hubris."

"We’ve always placed great importance on the mistake. But the next move, what you do after the mistake, is what really defines a person. We’re all going to make mistakes. But what is that next step? We don’t, as a culture, seem to stick around to see what that person’s next step is. And that’s the part I find so much more invigorating and interesting."

Pitt is committed to his sobriety. “I had taken things as far as I could take it, so I removed my drinking privileges,” he told me. After she filed for divorce, Pitt spent a year and a half in Alcoholics Anonymous.  “It was actually really freeing just to expose the ugly sides of yourself.  There’s great value in that.”

"I’m realizing, as a real act of forgiveness for myself for all the choices that I’ve made that I’m not proud of, that I value those missteps, because they led to some wisdom, which led to something else."

"I have a responsibility to myself and my family to remain true and authentic. I treat people whom I love honestly and sincerely."

“I’m hoping to deal with all my regrets. It takes some forgiveness of self as well. And if there’s someone that you need to [apologise to], something you need to clean up, then you clean it up... Then maybe we can dispense with those regrets if they’re handled. I’m a big believer in making amends.”

In early 2017, when Pitt committed to starring in “Ad Astra,” he was still reeling from his recent split from Angelina Jolie, with whom he has six children. "He definitely used the stimuli from his life,” Gray said. “Now, I didn’t get personal with him about it at all — I don’t think it’s my business, or even my job — but he investigated the essence of the character through himself.”  When I asked Pitt about that period of time in his life, he at first curtailed the inquiry. “I had family stuff going on,” he said. “We’ll leave it at that.”

"We set out to make a very sincere film, bare, raw honesty. You get older and you just get tired of protecting yourself or having any secrets":
"So many times in my life, I've screwed up.  I've talked when I should have listened. I've been harsh when I should have been tender."

"I made a promise to always be truthful. But I wasn't."

"I'm selfish. I'm selfish. I've let so many people down. I'm just a selfish person."

"a self-destructive side"

"I am looking forward to the day my solitude ends. And I'm home."

"I'm unsure of the future, but I'm not concerned. I will rely on those closest to me. And will share their burdens, as they share mine. I will live, and love."

Angelina has “tried to bridge the gap between the kids and their dad. She’s worked to achieve reinstatement for them."

"The real truest love pulls out your best self. It's what you value, what you're loyal to and what you're willing to fight for."

"Sometimes you get hurt, you see those you love in pain, and you can’t be as free and open as your spirit desires."

"we’re all human and very flawed."

"I am a big believer that we have to make mistakes in life and learn from them. And that we are who we are because of all the things we have done right and wrong. We grow."

"We all have something inside of us that maybe we feel is misunderstood or if we let it out completely and be completely who we are it might not be accepted. But then I think what are we doing on this earth if we can't figure out what that is that makes us uniquely us, to be it and then to find those who accept us for it."

"Wisdom, understanding, clarity of thought — all the things that come with age — are also beautiful and feminine qualities. I’d like to think we all get better with age — men and women.”

"I think it is not said enough how much we need the men in our lives to be strong and capable and the best they can be."

"We both very much need and love and learn from the men. And so I think that's also an important message for young girls, to find their own power, but to respect and learn from the men around them."

"Strong women love and learn from men"

"I wear perfume every day, unless I'm in a country where there is malaria and mosquitoes. It's nice for a woman to have a scent that her lover remembers, who identifies it with her. But we do not perfume only for men.”

"I don’t know how many women they’ve said I’ve been dating the last two or three years, and none of it’s true."

"I don't want at this point to be running from anything. I want to sit in it, I want to feel it, I want to get through the rough night. I found in doing so, you come out the other side with a more profound understanding, of yourself and a greater gratefulness for those in your life."

"Pitt might have been up anyway since he’s an admitted binge-watcher: The latest in his Netflix queue is “Mindhunter" Season 2. “That’s great,” says Pitt, who also has definite thoughts on “Netflix-cheating” as a concept. “See, this is the problem with (couple) viewing. It’s something you’ve got to say, ‘Honey, you're just going to have to catch up because I can't wait.'”

Is there anything more powerful than love?
“Family.”

How do they learn about the outside world? And I ask that in the context of how we are all understanding the outside world. And about social media and tech companies, and about what we can trust, etc. What do you do at home?
"I think like most parents, we try our best to insert good stuff.  We can't control everything they're exposed to.  So we try to ask that they will talk to us about anything they saw that bothers them or that they’re concerned about.”

"I've been very lucky to be involved in the Miraval project. We met with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie seven years ago. They own this beautiful property in Provence, which is certainly one of the best and most beautiful estate in Provence."

"Miraval is all about the art of making rosé and this champagne—which is made in the Champagne district—is a cooperation, combining Provencal knowledge with champagne making. Miraval began as a project between the Jolie-Pitt and the Perrin family. And now it has grown to include the Péters family. The continuity and the family are very important to Brad and Angelina.”

“We’re human, we want purpose, we want meaning in our lives.  But to attain that, the key is two things: staying creative and being with the people we love."

"In my younger years I would have. Now it's: 'How long do I gotta be away from home - my loved ones?'"

You've won every single award, is this the time of your life?
"Uuuuuuuuh, no."

What's the best thing about life for Brad Pitt today?
"It's a beautiful day in L.A. today."

"I'm not really a party guy."

Pitt, who won his first Oscar in 2014 as a producer for Best Picture 12 Years A Slave, telling us the key to happiness in Hollywood is family and love.  "staying creative and hanging with your loved ones."

Monday, September 16, 2019


For his WaPo NASA event today he was a veritable walking David Yurman catalogue:

8 bracelets: 
Woven red nylon with black onyx
DY Fortune Heirloom link in 18K
Red tiger's eye
Black onyx
bike chain
Shipwreck Chain
Spiritual Beads Skull in 18K 
Faceted Beads in Labradorite

The Petrvs Bee Signet ring -- which together with the thin gold chain necklace were the only pieces of jewelry he did not take off for the GQ photo shoot. 

Four gold necklaces.  The thin gold chain was identified in GQ as being from Tiffany and remained tucked under his shirt in all his photos.  The rest of the chains may be from Tiffany and/or Yurman.


From late 2016 until June 2018 he did not wear any jewelry.
On May 30, 2018, Judge Ouderkirk signed the Order with the Summer Schedule running from June til August designed to force the children to open up to Brad.
He started wearing a gold necklace after the start of the Summer effort in June, 2018.
He started wearing a bike chain bracelet sporadically starting in October, 2018 while filming OUATIH.
The Judgement on Custody and Visitation was filed in November, 2018.
He started wearing a 2nd gold necklace in December, 2018.
The Judgement on status was filed in April, 2019.
Angelina arrived in Paris on July 7, 2019 and it was announced at a press con for Mon Guerlain Intense that she and Guerlain were working on a bee conservation program in Cambodia. This was also the 1st time she wore a ring on her left hand.
Brad was first seen wearing a large silver Petrvs signet bee ring during OUATIH press promo that started July 11, 2019.
During OUATIH's L.A. premiere on July 22,  he was seen wearing a gold Petrvs signet bee ring, 3 necklaces with the addition of Yurman's Skull Station Necklace in Labradorite, and at least 3 bracelets --  woven red nylon with black onyx and 8 beads, small fluted chain bracelet, and another chain.
From his appearance in Mexico on August 12 onward he has worn the same gold Petrvs signet bee ring on his right ring finger.  It was also the first time he was seen wearing 6 bracelets which included the red nylon and the bike chain bracelet which he had not worn for several months.
From mid til late August, 2019 he was seen with the same 6 bracelets, 3 necklaces and bee ring
When he appeared in Venice for Ad Astra on August 29, he had 4 necklaces having added a 3rd gold chain.  He was still wearing the same 6 bracelets.
Some time before he left for Tokyo on Sept. 11, 2019 he started wearing 7 bracelets with the addition of the woven army green nylon with black onyx and 8 gold beads.
On Sept. 16, 2019 he was wearing 8 bracelets -- he replaced the green nylon with 2 new: the Shipwreck Chain and the Black onyx beads.  Four gold chains -- replacing the Skull Station Necklace in Labradorite with another gold chain.  And the same gold Petrvs signet bee ring.

Judging by his jewelry, he made a lot of progress by July, 2019 and made more progress in September.

At the conclusion of his conversation with @AstroHague at the ISS Brad said, "Thank you very much.  I can't wait to brag to my kids."










And 4 necklaces.








Brad Pitt has a great laugh: a sort of staccato, slow-rolling ah-huh-huh-huh that makes you think of surfers and cowboys and movie stars. He uses it more than once to excellent effect as Cliff Booth, the laconic stuntman-cum-sidekick who stumbles into the dark heart of the Manson family in Quentin Tarantino’s showbiz Babylon Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood and not at all in the lonely-astronaut epic Ad Astra (out Sept. 20), though it often punctuates his conversation with EW about both those roles.

To say that one of the world’s most beloved and best-known celebrities is having a moment 30-plus years into his career feels, at this point, pretty much indisputable. But don’t call it a comeback, or a Brad-aissance; several times over the course of a friendly, sometimes philosophical interview he’ll insist that his only goal is “putting stories out into the world” — which in 2019 means not just starring in a pair of films that may well end up dominating the coming awards season but also continuing to head up Plan B Entertainment, the boutique production company responsible for a vanguard slate of films, including Vice, Moonlight, Beautiful Boy, and 12 Years a Slave.

That laugh comes tumbling out again when he’s asked to find the thread between Hollywood’s Cliff, a sort of beach-boy Lebowski with a singular gift for sudden violence, and Ad Astra’s Maj. Roy McBride, an almost pathologically contained spaceman on a solo mission to Mars. “Well, Cliff is by far a much easier way to live, and certainly I would say what we’re all striving for,” he says, chuckling. “But to get to Cliff’s peace of mind and acceptance in the day, you’d probably have to go through Roy’s dilemma to get there.”

Pitt quickly grows more serious, though, on the subject of Roy’s arc in Astra — an emotional journey that often finds the major struggling to maintain his NASA-trained composure even as the fate of both his family and the free world (and, the movie heavily implies, his soul, too) hangs in the balance. “Toxic masculinity, that may be a little harsh as a term? But certainly we’re questioning what is masculinity,” he muses. “Having grown up in an era where we are taught to be stoic, taught to be capable, not to show weakness, never be disrespected — that works for the pioneer spirit, I guess, on the plain when you’re trying to make your claim. But it’s also very limiting, because it doesn’t embrace the whole human being.”

And while he admits to having no special affinity for space movies (“Um no, not specifically. I mean, when I was a kid my dad took me to see Alien, and that’s still everything”), Astra did get him pondering the mysteries of the universe, as it were: “In all our concepts and constructs of how we understand life to work, there are powers there that we cannot even begin to understand,” he marvels. “Powers that can bend time, and gravitational forces that could crush a planet. And just that we ourselves are made from dying stars — I find that really awe-inspiring, just because of how much we don’t know and yet how connected we are to it.”

Astra director James Gray (The Lost City of Z), who has known Pitt for more than two decades, tells EW that though he didn’t pen the script for his longtime friend — “I never actually write projects with actors in mind, because you’re always disappointed when they don’t do it” — he did end up getting exactly the performance he hoped for: “In some ways, because he’s a star, Brad’s acting is underrated. To control a performance and still convey the ideas and the emotions necessary for the film I think is as difficult as anything, really. To be kind of showy — and by the way I’m not saying this about him in Quentin’s movie, which I think is wonderful — but sometimes a showy performance can lead us in a very obvious series of choices. But he understood it completely, this character who lives so much in his own head.”

Heady isolation isn’t so much an option in Pitt’s other day job as the cofounder and CEO of Plan B, which often involves developing and championing the kinds of films that fall far outside his own lived experience. “It’s certainly not by design,” he says of the company’s particular track record with black auteurs like Ava DuVernay and Steve McQueen. “Myself and my partners Jeremy [Kleiner] and Dede [Gardner] have an extreme belief in equality and this want for justice in an unjust world, and I think we naturally are kind of guided that way. We were trying to get Selma made for years, and it wasn’t until 12 Years did what it did that it suddenly opened the door for all of these others.”

“Certainly when we started,” he goes on, “it was at a time when we saw that the studios just weren’t taking that kind of gamble on more complex mid-range budgeted films. “[And] I’m really proud of what we’ve been able to contribute to the zeitgeist…. But you know for every one that gets made, there’s another 10, so it takes a fight for all of them. And I can’t tell you how many talented, talented people there are still struggling to to be able to tell their story, the one that moved them. That’s where we were able to apply our muscle in a way that I never even expected when we started.”

In fact since its 2001 founding, the company has already racked up three Best Picture wins (for The Departed, 12 Years a Slave, and Moonlight). But the thrice-nominated actor promises he’s not interested in gunning for personal gold, despite the growing buzz on Astra and Hollywood. “Oh, man. I’m gonna abstain,” he says of campaigning for either role (though his generous recent press schedule may belie that). “I mean, you never know, and it’s really nice when your number comes up. But the goal is for the film to land, to speak to someone whether it’s now or a decade from now. I find chasing it actually a disservice to the purity of your telling a story, and a shackling thing to focus on.”

He’s less circumspect when it comes to another, less expected career avenue: the world of prestige television, where A-list peers like Nicole Kidman and Matthew McConaughey have already blazed a trail. “Could I see it? Absolutely,” he says. “What I love about TV is that you get to spend more time with the characters. You have to let go of so many scenes in order to fit into the ‘film’ container, as far as running time and how it plays, and with a series, being able to break it up, you can expand so much more. I’m especially drawn to the comedies that are able to do that. That might just be romantic of me, I may have to go with the times, so we’ll see. We’ll see where it all lands, but that’s certainly of interest.”

In the meantime there’s more than enough to keep him occupied, between promoting his current projects and tending to a production slate that this year already includes Astra and the Sundance sensation The Last Black Man in San Francisco (which EW named the best film of 2019 so far this past June), as well as the upcoming Timothée Chalamet drama The King and Moonlight director Barry Jenkins’ Underground Railroad series for Amazon. So does that mean there could be some truth to a recent viral magazine quote that implied he’d soon be done with big-screen acting?
“I was just saying that it’s really a younger man’s game,” he insists. “Not that there aren’t still parts and interesting things to do. As I get older and transition does its thing, the great thing about producing is you still get to be part of what I love most, which is storytelling. Or maybe it’s just me, maybe I’ve just seen my interests broadening or shifting into other things. But no. No!” — one last, long ah-huh-huh-huh — “It’s not a claim of retirement.”

Saturday, September 7, 2019


Kyle Buchanan's one-on-one interview with Brad for the NY Times last Sept. 4 is the most in-depth interview Brad has given so far.  In the words of James Gray, Brad "used the stimuli from his life" and "investigated the essence of the character through himself" so his interviews for Ad Astra have provided a steady stream of personal quotes -- on being "better with the people I love", "a better partner, a better dad, a better son."


Combining a few Randoms Fuzzies to see the picture from September, 2016 to-date:


Buchanan wrote that Brad "at first curtailed the inquiry" into the "split"--  which implies that he subsequently opened up but apparently spoke off the record.  "For most of our conversation, Pitt was both penitent and private" -- and he may have been to Buchanan, but little of the "penitent" made it to the printed article.   Brad evidently convinced Buchanan to write that it was "reported" that "they fought about his drinking while aboard a private plane" in lieu of what was actually reported at the time: his altercation with Maddox, the DCFS' 8-week "involvement," and the therapeutic process between him and the children that has ruled their lives the past 3 years.  Those were topics he was not ready to discuss publicly.  What he wanted to mention was Alcoholics Anonymous -- the weekly group therapy sessions he was required to attend under the Custody Stipulation they were "encouraged" to sign by childcare professionals.  It gave him the opportunity to say that he was committed to his sobriety.  Brad hasn't been seen holding any alcoholic beverage in public since September 2016. 
"For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street."

"This last year, things I wasn't dealing with. I was boozing too much. It's just become a problem."
***

The biggest question obviously is what transpired on that Sept. 14, 2016 plane ride back from Miraval and why it caused such deep and long-lasting damage to Brad's relationship with the kids. And the answer to that would also answer the 2nd biggest question:  why has it taken more than 3X the initial estimate of 6 months to a year to achieve reunification.

The other big question is how different things might have been if the DCFS was never involved.  If the family might have healed faster.  The DCFS met the plane when it landed and interviewed everyone as they stepped off.  What they saw and heard led to their decision to open an investigation for child abuse.  The DCFS regarded Brad as a threat to the children and they put in place a child safety plan and placed a restraining order on Brad, prohibiting him from going near the children or the place where they lived.  That forced Angelina to file the petition in order to comply with DCFS requirements and convince the DCFS she would protect the children from Brad so they wouldn't take the children away and allow them to stay with her.  All communications had to go through their lawyers while the safety plan was in effect.  They jointly hired trauma specialists to immediately treat the children but were otherwise prohibited from having any direct contact.  The process the family is trying to complete is one of the safeguards for the children that the DCFS put in place before it ended it's investigation and cleared Brad of child abuse.
"The job of the DCFS is to make sure the children are in a safe and secure situation. As we said earlier this week, childcare professionals encouraged a legal agreement accepted and signed by both sides that was in the best interest of the children. Angelina said from the beginning that she felt she had to take action for the health of the family and is relieved that after their 8-week involvement, the DCFS is now satisfied the safeguards are put in place that will allow the children to heal."
If the DCFS was never involved, the family would still have the trauma therapists, and the psychiatrist and neuropsychologist, but there would be no lawyers.  The petition would not have been filed without the DCFS.  There would be no court filings to chart their progress or lack thereof.

Brad had wanted to challenge the DCFS's actions in court and his lawyers drafted the S&O to seal (to prevent public disclosure of the DCFS's findings) a week after the petition was filed.  He also wanted to push past the children's therapists and have nontherapeutic visits with the children against their recommendations.  Angelina did not want them to resort to litigation against the DCFS or the therapists in order to rush reunification.  After Brad came around they were able to hire Judge Ouderkirk who officiated at their wedding in Miraval. 
"I was really on my back and chained to a system when Child Services was called."

"It's just very, very jarring for the kids, to suddenly have their family ripped apart. If anyone can make sense of it, we have to."

"Angie's reluctance to enter into a stipulation to seal the file stems from her firm belief that litigation is the wrong decision."

"I heard one lawyer say, “No one wins in court—it's just a matter of who gets hurt worse.” And it seems to be true, you spend a year just focused on building a case to prove your point and why you're right and why they're wrong, and it's just an investment in vitriolic hatred. I just refuse. And fortunately my partner in this agrees"

"And you know, after that, we've been able to work together to sort this out. We're both doing our best."

"I don't like (being single). It's not something I wanted. There’s just nothing nice about it. It’s just hard."

"We care for each other and care about our family, and we are both working towards the same goal.

“None of it’s easy. It’s very, very difficult, a very painful situation, and I just want my family healthy,”

The May 30, 2018 Order contained a Summer Schedule.  A psychiatrist and a neuropsycholgist had taken over from the trauma specialists and designed and directed the Schedule.  The children had fully recovered from the trauma and there was no medical reason for them not to be with Brad, but the children were still distrustful of him, refusing to have any relationship with him or be alone with him.  The Order was an effort at court intervention to force the children to open up to Brad. The Order contained the Court's reassurance to the children that they are safe with their father and an admonition that not having a relationship with him was harmful to them.  The schedule was designed as a two-month intensive bonding boot camp that included weaning the children off their need to have Angelina looking after them to feel safe with Brad.  It was only at the very end of the Summer effort that the children were left entirely alone with Brad with neither the mental health professionals nor Angelina within reach for them. 

Largely as a result of those efforts, by late November, 2018 they had finally made enough progress to be able to have the Judgement on Custody and Visitation.   Angelina told the BBC in December:
(At Home) "I think like most parents, we try our best to insert good stuff.  We can't control everything they're exposed to.  So we try to ask that they will talk to us about anything they saw that bothers them or that they’re concerned about.”

But while things have been "moving along in the right direction,” as of April 2019 they were still short of where Dr. Katz believes they should be and they filed a sealed Judgement on status only.  The court has very strict requirements for sealing court documents and had previously said it "recognized the privacy rights of the minor children and will be guided by what is in the minor children's best interests."  That the court agreed to seal the Judgement and 4 attachments indicates that it is not simply about their legal status but substantially involve the children. 

It should be noted that with two judgements in hand, the whole divorce case could have been easily finalized with a third judgement settling their properties and finances.  Nothing has been filed since April and the case remains open.  For obvious reasons, couples who are in the midst of divorce do not add to their financial entanglements.  That Brad and Angelina have continued to pour millions into joint investments like the DeMille and the expansion of Miraval (the only big investments either of them are known to have made) is just one more indication that they have every intention of remaining partners.  The slick, new Miraval website launched earlier this year states:
"The savoir faire of the Perrin family is united with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's artistic sensitivity.  Together these two formidable forces arouse the exceptional, the unforgettable.  Two forces come together in a unique passion for art."  
Brad and Angelina make up one formidable force.  Partners.  Miraval may now be producing award-winning wines but it is first and foremost their home.

When the Judgement on Custody and Visitation was filed they said "it is not permanent but rather a temporary agreement in place, for now, to keep things moving along in the right direction.”  The Judgement on Status, which they did not specifically acknowledge, would be the same -- both temporary, both intended to move things in the right direction, and both filed with the intention of eventually asking the court to set them aside.

With the filings, they are apparently using a carrot and stick approach that is entirely centered on the children's love for Angelina.

In the May 30 Order, the stick was the children would lose time with Angelina if, at the end of the schedule, they were still seen to be "closed down" to Brad.  That stick worked well because of how much the children value being with her.  Now that they've reconciled with Brad, the carrot is restoring their parents' marriage which they worked long and hard to bring about and which will mean Angelina's last name will again be the same as theirs. 

If the children again want their parents to be married and for their mother to again share the Jolie Pitt name with them, they will need to restore their relationship with their father to what it was leading up to the marriage so they can have the judgements set aside.  It was the kids who prodded them to get married and served as wedding planners: 
“We’re getting a lot of pressure from the kids. It means something to them and they’re, you know, they have questions when their friends’ parents are married and why is that? 
"We’re all just healing from the events that led to the filing.  They’re not healing from divorce. They’re healing from some . . . from life, from things in life.

Lance Spiegel noted that multiple sources as well as public and private statements from Angelina vouched that Brad had been a great father.  But for all that and all his efforts since, Brad clearly lacked the ability to restore his relationship with the children on his own.  He needed Angelina's active help.
"We are and forever will be a family. I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer.
Angelina has “tried to bridge the gap between the kids and their dad. She’s worked to achieve reinstatement for them.
After living in Malibu for several months, the children did not want to go back to live in Brad's house in Hollywood Hills.  The DeMille was the rare home near their compound that could satisfy their space and security needs.  They snapped it up as soon as it was listed, setting a new record high for the area.
"(The DeMille) is a big jump forward for us, and we’re all trying to do our best to heal our family."
"All" is the two of them.  It was a major concession for them to accept the need for another home apart from the family compound -- even more than shelling out for a house that many real estate observers thought was overpriced.   It was especially difficult for Brad who had assembled, designed and built the compound that "has always been his kids' childhood home.”  The week that the DeMille went on the market in late March/early April 2017 was also the week of his GQ interview. 
"It's been a more painful week than normal—just certain things have come up"
"It took me a few months to realize that I was really going to have to do it. That there was going to have to be another base regardless of everything,” she said, her voice falling quiet and low, as it would each time the subject of the split arose. “That there was going to have to be a home. Another home.”
“It has a lot of moments,” Ms. Jolie said of the home, “It’s happy. Happy and light, and we needed that.”

Brad had initially struggled to comprehend the full extent of the damage to his relationship with the children and the need to strictly follow the therapeutic process overseen by the therapists.  His efforts in late 2016 to rush the process and obtain nontherapeutic visits when the children were far from ready, accompanied by public posturing and misrepresentation in support of those efforts, would have further upset the children and hindered his progress. 
"When I get in trouble it's because of my hubris."
He got in trouble again in August 2018 just before Angelina and the children were due back in L.A. from London.  That they've always remained a couple does not mean they've never fought.  Brad was again being an "asshole" in a "hallow quest for justice for some perceived slight" and Angelina was upset enough to take their spat public with a request for a case management conference to speed up bifurcation of status (which did not include any reference to the children) and hearings on child support because Brad had not paid his half of the children's expenses.  Bley DeJean's statements were testier than the normally hot-tempered Spiegel's who opposed both requests but was uncharacteristically restrained.  In Spiegel's low key response Brad was obviously trying to cool things down after starting the fire.  His mindless actions came very close to jeopardizing all the gains they made from the May 30 Order coming as it did just before the custody evaluation to review the effects on the children of the Summer effort.  Brad swiftly made amends with Angelina -- he's had a lot of practice -- and she was beaming happily when she arrived in L.A. with the kids just four days later. 
“Everybody knows there is never just the tragedy of life, or the humor of life or pure joy of life. Relationships have those extremes. You can absolutely madly love the same person you want to kill.”

"In the end, you find: I am those things I don't like. I need to face that and take care of that."
Sitting with "horrible feelings" as he grappled with the repercussions of his behavior, a guilt-ridden Brad had spent time creating scenarios of his "fiery demise" and "horrible end."  He credited "a lot of  love" from the beauty in his life and "a lot of love" for her with keeping him from becoming seriously suicidal. 
"A few months ago I was having frightening dreams and I'd consciously lie awake trying to ask, What can I get out of this? What can I learn from this?"

"Sitting with those horrible feelings, and needing to understand them, and putting them into place."

"I know the people who love me know me. And that's enough for me."

"If I'm not creating something, doing something, putting it out there, then I'll just be creating scenarios of fiery demise in my mind. You know, a horrible end."

“I’m not suicidal or something.  There’s still much beauty in the world and a lot of love. And a lot of love to be given."

"Our focus is that everyone comes out stronger and better people—there is no other outcome."

"I have a responsibility to myself and my family to remain true and authentic. I treat people whom I love honestly and sincerely."

"Angelina remains focused on healing her family.  She continues to support the reconciliation of the children with Brad."

"I think it is not said enough how much we need the men in our lives to be strong and capable and the best they can be.”

ca. By the Sea:
[Brad] made it very, very clear to me that what he loved and what was a woman to him was somebody who was smart, and capable, and cared about her family, that it’s not about your physical body,”

"I feel like you have to really maintain yourself and you have to help the person you are with to be the best version of himself. You need to really stay… [the way] you are and make sure that you are not asking him to bend in a way that is not natural to him."

"I’m happy we did that film (By the Sea) because we did explore something together, and whatever it was, maybe it didn’t solve certain things, but we did communicate something that maybe needed to be communicated to each other.
She had said:
"We thought, this is the best honeymoon because we felt, as the film says in the end—whatever you go through, weather the storm and stay together. It was a message to each other of we are going to weather whatever comes and we are going to stick together."
"—we have to try to hold tight together, work things out and work things through no matter how bad they get."

“When something happens in your life that’s a dramatic thing, you either pull together or you go into your own,” Jolie Pitt says, referring to By the Sea and the trauma that drives a wedge between Roland and Vanessa. “So many times, people divorce very quickly. To me, if this film has a message, it’s that you have to try to weather the storm together no matter what. And that’s a beautiful thing.”

***

When the May 30 Order leaked, they said the leak was "misleading" and gives an "inaccurate and unfair picture of what is really happening."   Because they agreed to stay within the framework of a divorce case as a safeguard for the children, they must choose from the associated legal filings what they can use to help them achieve "recovery and reunification."  The May 30 Order and the Judgement on Status on the surface appear to be very different legal filings, but both were drafted with the same end goals: to help restore Brad's relationship with the children to what it was before the plane incident. 

In this regard, it is notable that the NY Times' Buchanan wrote only that Angelina "filed for divorce" and totally ignored all developments since the filing including the bifurcated Judgements.  Brad, perhaps during the penitent portion, may have explained the true circumstances behind the filing and that none of the legal steps that followed were real or worth mentioning.  That those filings are merely tools to nudge the children to improve their relationship with him.

In addition to avoiding any reference to the "incident" with Maddox or its aftermath, Buchanan only tangentially mentioned the kids: "he has six children." Buchanan also omitted the most obvious of the "surprising tattoos snaked down his arms" -- the family tattoo flashing every time he raised his arm.  Mention of it would have made a discussion on the family unavoidable and Brad wasn't ready to go there.
"Any of my foibles are born from my own hubris."

"I'm an asshole when it comes to this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. It's done me no good whatsoever. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I'm well aware of that. I hit the lottery, and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits"
Brad told Buchanan he "had family stuff going on" -- not personal or marital stuff, because the problem was between him and the kids and not between him and Angelina.  They were never estranged.  They are and have always been together as a couple.  The reconciliation, reinstatement and reunification that needed to occur for the family to again be healthy is between Brad and the children.

While the picture presented in Buchanan's interview is a jigsaw with many missing pieces, in saying that they "fought about his drinking" and then adding that he "removed" his "drinking privileges" and spent a year and a half with Alcoholics Anonymous, Brad is saying that he has removed the cause of the fight and the reason for the split and filing.  Ergo there is no reason for them to be apart.  Brad points to the same conclusion via a much shorter and simpler explanation.  Everything from the cascade of quotes he has given to the visible evidence has made the conclusion obvious and unavoidable.

Since GQ in 2017 Brad has been consistent about what he sees as his need to be more open, accept his flaws and show his weaknesses and vulnerabilities.  In saying "I had taken things as far as I could take it" he is hinting at the extent of the damage inflicted by his abuse of alcohol.  He's prepared to face what people may think. “It’s just ridiculous that we would beat ourselves up that way. It doesn’t matter."  "We should be supporting each other’s growth and missteps, because everyone’s made them to some degree or the other," -- which Angelina echoes, "We’re all human and very flawed."   He is laying the groundwork for his eventual public confession of his "ugly sides," but the time isn't yet right.  For now he is letting people know he had a very serious drinking problem.  The next, more difficult part would be revealing his behavior exacerbated by his drinking and the resulting damage.

Angelina has a full plate of acting projects in various stages of production while Brad's is empty after Ad Astra.
"I try to find time to train.  I'm acting a bit more now because I can't be what my family needs me to be while I'm directing -- it takes a lot more time and effort to direct and I look forward to being able to do that again when things are better."

"Faster alone, further together."
Brad will be home, bonding with the kids and making up for lost time while she works.
"In my younger years I would have.  Now it's: 'How long do I gotta be away from home - my loved ones?'"
"a full acceptance of yourself... peace comes from that. And makes me better with the people I love."
"I think more vulnerability, more getting you arms around your successes and your failures, makes for a better partner, a better dad, a better son."


-- Fussy

Monday, May 20, 2019


Random Fuzzy

In Summary

When the Judgement on Custody and Visitation was filed last November, they were very eager to let the public know, announcing it on Nov. 30 one week ahead of the Dec. 7 posting online.  They said they were "very pleased" and "relieved." 
“A custody arrangement was agreed to weeks ago, and has been signed by both parties and the judge,” Samantha Bley DeJean said in a statement to Reuters and ET.
“The agreement, which is based on the recommendations of the child custody evaluator, eliminates the need for a trial. The filing and details of the agreement are confidential to protect the best interests of the children.”

A source close to Jolie said that she “is very pleased to be entering the next stage and relieved with progress for the health of their family.”

A source tells PEOPLE, “It is not permanent but rather a temporary agreement in place, for now, to keep things moving along in the right direction.”
This contrasts sharply with how they've handled the Judgement on Status.  There was only a brief quote after it appeared in the Court listing that People attributed to "a source":
“Both parents are focused on what’s best for the kids."
All they are willing to say is that "what's best for the kids" has guided this and all their actions and decisions -- that means everything from the filing of the petition up to and including obtaining this latest judgement and whatever comes after.  And that as the Miraval site makes clear, they are ONE as they have been from the start.
"The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification."
Since they hired Judge Ouderkirk and issued that statement, whether for direct attribution or not, there has been only one point of view for both of them in People.  They shut down everyone else whether authorized or pretending to be.
"Publicist, I never really got along with.  Had to have them for emergencies and it's never worked out."

From the absence of any advance notice to the omission of "marital" before "status" in the description attached to the sealed judgement, from the lack of any statement from Bley-DeJean, Mindy Nyby,or Lance Spiegel to the absence of any reference to the judgement in their quote, they obviously wanted to quietly slip this in without acknowledging what it is supposed to be. 

There was speculation that they filed the judgement for tax purposes -- the key difference being that spousal support becomes tax deductible on federal tax returns.  But they have no spousal support and child support -- which they share equally -- is not tax deductible.  Brad's biggest source of income for his latest tax returns would be his $10M fee for OUATIH.  On the other hand, two of Plan B's films released the past year, If Beale Street Could Talk and Vice, produced in partnership with Annapurna, garnered awards and nominations but did poorly at the box office and are expected to result in $30M in losses.  Whatever their taxable income, I seriously doubt they would do this just to save on taxes.

With two judgements in hand, the whole divorce case could be easily finalized with a third judgement settling their properties and finances.  Since the petition was filed, they added the DeMille in which Brad has a 1/3 stake by virtue of his $8M "loan." The DeMille will likely be considered part of their community property under California law since most if not all of the funds both Brad and Angelina used were earned before the petition was filed.  Neither of them had started any new film before the DeMille closed in early June, 2017.  Brad's Allied opened in November 2016 but he would not have received any profit bonus for it since it lost over $75M for Paramount.  For obvious reasons, couples who are in the midst of divorce do not add to their financial entanglements.  That Brad and Angelina have continued to pour millions into joint investments like the DeMille and the expansion of Miraval's wine business (the only big investments either of them are known to have made) shows they have every intention of remaining partners and keeping their community properties intact. 

When the court rejected Brad's ex-parte request for an order to seal records on December 7, 2016, it said "the proposed broad sealing order fails to meet the requirements of the California Rule of Court 2.550."  It added that "the Court recognized the privacy rights of the minor children and will be guided by what is in the minor children's best interests."  For the Court to agree to seal the Judgement on Status and 4 attachments, they would have had to successfully convince the Court that it was in the children's best interests to do so.  That means those filings are not just about the two of them but substantially involve the children.  That this is not simply a judgement on status only. 

When the May 30 Order leaked, they said the leak was "misleading" and gives an "inaccurate and unfair picture of what is really happening." Because they agreed to stay within the framework of a dissolution case as a safeguard for the children, they must choose from the associated legal filings what they can use to help them achieve "recovery and reunification."  Those filings -- the May 30 order and the sealed judgement on status --  are merely tools to nudge the children to improve their relationship with Brad.  The filings thus provide a misleading and inaccurate picture of what is really happening.

Mindy Nyby issued a statement on August 7, 2018 when they had a public spat just before the end of the Summer schedule and Bley-DeJean filed a request for a case management conference:
the "aim of Angelina's routine filing is to promote closure to the marriage in a way that clears a path toward the next stage of their lives and allows her and Brad to recommit as devoted co-parents to their children."
Nyby's earlier statement would be just as applicable and appropriate now.  But this is only nominally a judgement on status, it was drafted for a far different purpose and they wanted to say as little as possible.

"The truth is that my children have seen things about themselves even from what's considered serious news people that are inaccurate.  So my children have a very odd sense of who's telling the truth and what the truth really is and what they actually believe or trust." 

This time last year they were preparing the May 30 Order containing the Summer Schedule.  A psychiatrist and a neuropsycholgist had taken over from the trauma specialists and designed and directed the Schedule.  The children have fully recovered from the trauma and there was no medical reason for them not to be with Brad, but the children were still distrustful of him, refusing to have any relationship with him or be alone with him.  The Order was an effort at court intervention to force the children to open up to Brad. The Order contained the Court's reassurance to the children that they are safe with their father and an admonition that not having a relationship with him was harmful to them.  The schedule was designed as a two-month intensive bonding boot camp that included weaning the children off their need to have Angelina looking after them to feel safe with Brad.  It was only at the very end of the Summer effort that the children were left entirely alone with Brad with neither the mental health professionals nor Angelina within reach for them. 

Largely as a result of those efforts, by late November, they had finally made enough progress to be able to have the Judgement on Custody and Visitation.
(At Home) "I think like most parents, we try our best to insert good stuff.  We can't control everything they're exposed to.  So we try to ask that they will talk to us about anything they saw that bothers them or that they’re concerned about.”
But while things have been "moving along in the right direction,” they are still short of where Dr. Katz believes they should be.  This sealed judgment may work "best for the kids" to get them there.   It was the kids who prodded them to get married and served as wedding planners: 
“We’re getting a lot of pressure from the kids. It means something to them and they’re, you know, they have questions when their friends’ parents are married and why is that? 
It's a carrot and stick approach that is entirely centered on the children's love for Angelina.  In the May 30 Order, the stick was the children would lose time with Angelina if, at the end of the schedule, they were still seen to be "closed down" to Brad.  That stick could work because of how much the children value being with her.  The carrot is restoring their parents' marriage which they worked long and hard to bring about and which will mean Angelina's last name will again be the same as theirs. 

When she wrote Angelina Jolie-Pitt on the FTKMF banner for the 2017-2018 Awards season, it was the first time she publicly hyphenated her name the same way as the children.   It probably meant a lot to them that they all had exactly the same name.  If the children again want their parents to be married and for their mother to again share the same last name with them, they will have to work harder at being the family they were before.  Specifically, they will need to restore their relationship with their father to what it was leading up to the marriage.


While promoting By the Sea:
"My children have had the Jolie-Pitt name for a long time. I finally have the name of my children. We were feeling like there was mommy’s side and daddy’s side, and the kids were Jolie-Pitt so it was nice to join them.
I don’t think people need to get married. It’s something to say to those who aren’t married—it’s nice to do it when you don’t need it. When you feel that it’s not something that you need to complete you or it’s going to take you to a next level, when you feel like it’s something you already earned and it’s something that becomes official, it just feels very nice."
"I was surprised afterwards at the effect that getting married has had on us – it was more than just a ceremony, it meant a real depth of commitment. I feel like a married man – I really do."
If anything, it challenges you because you really start to think about the rest of your life. You feel very tied. It’s interesting for me having his last name."
In the past few weeks, Angelina made a solo trip to NY, spent a few days in Chicago with Maddox, and made another solo trip to Siem Reap, giving Brad extended bonding time alone with the kids.  There will be more while she films Those Who Wish Me Dead.  It is perhaps not a coincidence that the Summer effort coincided with her filming Maleficent 2 and this new effort is timed for while she is busy with TWWMD.

The May 30 Order and the Judgement on Status on the surface appear to be very different legal filings, but both were drafted with the same end goals: to help restore Brad's relationship with the children to what it was before the plane incident.  Their immediate goal now seems more easily attainable compared to last summer's goals and should be accomplished within a similar time frame.

"We’re all just healing from the events that led to the filing.  They’re not healing from divorce. They’re healing from some . . . from life, from things in life.”

When Angelina spoke of their commitment to the children as being life-long and bigger than marriage, she thought all that mattered was for them to maintain their commitment, she did not think that the children would ever receive it differently.   She never imagined it was possible for a rupture to develop between Brad and the children so severe as to result in the children rejecting en masse Brad's commitment to them.  Angelina has been emphatic that they are and will always be a family, but they needed to heal the break in order to live and function normally as a family.
"Marriage didn’t change anything for us. I have been married before, but I didn’t have children. Marriage is a certain commitment but when you have children with somebody, that is such a huge commitment that you could never walk away from and that is your life.
So the biggest change for me was when I signed over the papers and Brad officially adopted Zahara and Maddox. That was the day when I realized that suddenly, I was tying myself to this man for the rest of my life. That was many years ago."
Their commitments to the children and to each other remain firmly in place.  Spiegel noted that multiple sources as well as public and private statements from Angelina vouched that Brad had been a great father.  But for all that and all his efforts since, Brad clearly lacked the ability to restore his relationship with the children on his own.  He needed Angelina's active help -- and she helped every way she could, including with the May 30 Order and the judgement on status.
"We are and forever will be a family. I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer.
Angelina has “tried to bridge the gap between the kids and their dad. She’s worked to achieve reinstatement for them.

After living in Malibu for several months, the children did not want to go back to live in Brad's house in Hollywood Hills.  The DeMille was the rare home near their compound that could satisfy their space and security needs.  They snapped it up as soon as it was listed, setting a new record high for the area.
"(The DeMille) is a big jump forward for us, and we’re all trying to do our best to heal our family."
"All" is the two of them.  It was a major concession for them to accept the need for another home apart from the family compound that "has always been his kids' “childhood home” -- even more than shelling out for a house that many real estate observers thought was overpriced.   It was especially difficult for Brad who had assembled, designed and built their compound.  The week that the DeMille went on the market in late March/early April 2017 was also the week of his GQ interview. 
"It's been a more painful week than normal—just certain things have come up"
"It took me a few months to realize that I was really going to have to do it. That there was going to have to be another base regardless of everything,” she said, her voice falling quiet and low, as it would each time the subject of the split arose. “That there was going to have to be a home. Another home.”
“It has a lot of moments,” Ms. Jolie said of the home, “It’s happy. Happy and light, and we needed that.”

As the person the children love and trust most, Angelina's continued reassurance is very important.  She has been steadfast in her resolve to selflessly help and protect everyone else.
"Angelina remains focused on healing her family.  She continues to support the reconciliation of the children with Brad."

"I think it is not said enough how much we need the men in our lives to be strong and capable and the best they can be.”

Sitting with "horrible feelings" as he grappled with the repercussions of his behavior, a guilt-ridden Brad had whiled away time creating scenarios of his "fiery demise" and "horrible end."  He credited "a lot of  love" from the beauty in his life and "a lot of love" for her with keeping him from becoming seriously suicidal.  A lot of love made him stronger and gave him reasons to live.
"A few months ago I was having frightening dreams and I'd consciously lie awake trying to ask, What can I get out of this? What can I learn from this?"

"Sitting with those horrible feelings, and needing to understand them, and putting them into place."

"I know the people who love me know me. And that's enough for me."

"If I'm not creating something, doing something, putting it out there, then I'll just be creating scenarios of fiery demise in my mind. You know, a horrible end."

“I’m not suicidal or something.  There’s still much beauty in the world and a lot of love. And a lot of love to be given."

"Our focus is that everyone comes out stronger and better people—there is no other outcome."

"I have a responsibility to myself and my family to remain true and authentic. I treat people whom I love honestly and sincerely."

With his relationship with the children still on the mend, it is notable that Brad has always mentioned the people he loves and who love him in the interviews he has given.  It is a reflection of the overwhelming love and gratitude he feels towards the one person who has always returned his love and to whom he owes his life -- Angelina.  Angelina has been a bit more discreet, saying that they "care for each other."

ca. By the Sea:
[Brad] made it very, very clear to me that what he loved and what was a woman to him was somebody who was smart, and capable, and cared about her family, that it’s not about your physical body,”

"I feel like you have to really maintain yourself and you have to help the person you are with to be the best version of himself. You need to really stay… [the way] you are and make sure that you are not asking him to bend in a way that is not natural to him."

Brad has worked hard at addressing his problems.  He hasn't been seen holding any alcoholic beverage in public since 2016 -  a point he sought to emphasize in posing with a glass of milk for the OUATIH interviews in Esquire.  He has had weekly individual and group therapy sessions -- the only one in the family who was specifically required to do so under the Custody Stipulation.  The children had counseling as determined by the therapists.  Angelina's role was to look after the children and join them and Brad in family therapy sessions.
"For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street."

"This last year, things I wasn't dealing with. I was boozing too much. It's just become a problem."

"Any of my foibles are born from my own hubris."

"I'm an asshole when it comes to this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. It's done me no good whatsoever. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I'm well aware of that. I hit the lottery, and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits"

The therapists' initial estimate for recovery -- six months to a year --  seemed long at the time Wasser mentioned it in her email to Spiegel, but it turns out they underestimated the problems and it may be closer to three years by the time they're deemed to have fully healed and achieve full reunification.

Brad had initially struggled to comprehend the full extent of the damage to his relationship with the children and the need to strictly follow the therapeutic process overseen by the therapists.  His efforts in late 2016 to rush the process and obtain nontherapeutic visits when the children were far from ready, accompanied by public posturing and misrepresentation in support of those efforts, would have further upset the children and hindered his progress. 
"When I get in trouble it's because of my hubris."
He got in trouble again in August 2018 just before Angelina and the children were due back in L.A. from London.  He was again being an "asshole" in a "hallow quest for justice for some perceived slight" and it made Angelina upset enough to respond with the request for case management and publicly accuse him of reneging on his financial responsibilities.  He came very close to jeopardizing all the gains they made (and by extension his life) coming as it did just before the custody evaluation to gauge the results of the Summer effort.  It was another mindless "hallow pursuit" when he knows he already hit the lottery that did him "no good whatsoever" -- and very nearly cost him the lottery.   He swiftly make amends with Angelina and however he managed to do it, she was beaming happily when she arrived in L.A. just four days later.
"In the end, you find: I am those things I don't like. I need to face that and take care of that."
"That" has not yet been fully taken cared of but what is more important is he's determined to and continues to work on it.

The biggest question obviously is what transpired on that Sept. 14, 2016 plane ride back from Miraval and why it caused such deep and long-lasting damage to Brad's relationship with the kids.

The other big question they must ponder is how different things might have been if the DCFS was never involved.  If the family might have healed faster.  The DCFS met the plane when it landed and interviewed everyone as they stepped off.  What they saw and heard led to their decision to open an investigation for child abuse.  The DCFS regarded Brad as a threat to the children and they put in place a child safety plan and placed a restraining order on Brad, restricting him from going near the children or the place where they lived.  That forced Angelina to file the petition in order to comply with DCFS requirements and convince the DCFS she would protect the children from Brad if they allowed the children to stay with her.  They were prohibited from having any direct contact and all communications had to go through their lawyers while the safety plan was in effect.  The process the family is trying to complete is one of the safeguards for the children that the DCFS put in place before it ended it's investigation and cleared Brad of child abuse.
"The job of the DCFS is to make sure the children are in a safe and secure situation. As we said earlier this week, childcare professionals encouraged a legal agreement accepted and signed by both sides that was in the best interest of the children. Angelina said from the beginning that she felt she had to take action for the health of the family and is relieved that after their 8-week involvement, the DCFS is now satisfied the safeguards are put in place that will allow the children to heal."
If the DCFS was never involved, the family would still have the trauma therapists, and the psychiatrist and neuropsychologist, but there would be no lawyers.  The petition would not have been filed without the DCFS.  There would be no court filings to chart their progress or lack thereof.

Brad had wanted to challenge the DCFS's actions in court and his lawyers drafted the S&O to seal (to prevent public disclosure of the DCFS's findings) a week after the petition was filed.  He also wanted to push past the children's therapists and have nontherapeutic visits with the children against their recommendations.  Angelina did not want them to resort to litigation to rush reunification.  After Brad came around they were able to hire Judge Ouderkirk who officiated at their wedding in Miraval. 
"I was really on my back and chained to a system when Child Services was called."

"It's just very, very jarring for the kids, to suddenly have their family ripped apart. If anyone can make sense of it, we have to."

"Angie's reluctance to enter into a stipulation to seal the file stems from her firm belief that litigation is the wrong decision."

"I heard one lawyer say, “No one wins in court—it's just a matter of who gets hurt worse.” And it seems to be true, you spend a year just focused on building a case to prove your point and why you're right and why they're wrong, and it's just an investment in vitriolic hatred. I just refuse. And fortunately my partner in this agrees"

"And you know, after that, we've been able to work together to sort this out. We're both doing our best."

"I don't like (being single). It's not something I wanted. There’s just nothing nice about it. It’s just hard."

"We care for each other and care about our family, and we are both working towards the same goal.

“None of it’s easy. It’s very, very difficult, a very painful situation, and I just want my family healthy,”

The case remains open and the Judgement on Custody and Visitation is temporary.  A divorce judgement is usually hard to reverse although the court may be a bit more understanding given the highly unusual circumstances and whatever specific provisions were added to the sealed Judgement on Status.


They've never faced a more challenging situation and it is one that should make them stronger and closer.  They can look back on this years from now and see how they rose together to meet the challenge as a beautiful thing.  
"I’m happy we did that film (By the Sea) because we did explore something together, and whatever it was, maybe it didn’t solve certain things, but we did communicate something that maybe needed to be communicated to each other.”
She had said:
"We thought, this is the best honeymoon because we felt, as the film says in the end—whatever you go through, weather the storm and stay together. It was a message to each other of we are going to weather whatever comes and we are going to stick together."
"—we have to try to hold tight together, work things out and work things through no matter how bad they get."

“When something happens in your life that’s a dramatic thing, you either pull together or you go into your own,” Jolie Pitt says, referring to By the Sea and the trauma that drives a wedge between Roland and Vanessa. “So many times, people divorce very quickly. To me, if this film has a message, it’s that you have to try to weather the storm together no matter what. And that’s a beautiful thing.”

Their inner circle fiercely protects all information about them.  Their friends and associates like Loung Ung, Thomas Houseaego, Spike Jonze, Holly Goline, Mindy Nyby etc. are very careful and tight-lipped.  They would never divulge anything to anyone outside their circle.   Before the May 30 Order leaked, there was not so much as a whiff anywhere that a psychiatrist and neuropsychologist had already taken over from the trauma therapists in treating the children.  That is a key to understanding why they are way past the initial 6 months to a year estimate given by the therapists for reinstatement between Brad and the children.  No one outside knew that the kids did not feel safe alone with Brad and did not have a relationship with him because no one in their inner circle talks.  They know how to keep information locked down tight.  They declined to say anything to CNN.  To put it simply: those who know don't talk and those who talk don't know.  It should be obvious that all the reports the tabloids churn out are silly concoctions they made up to fool the stupid and gullible.  Reading tabloid fiction is a complete waste of your time.   You are merely encouraging further garbage production.  Don't be gullible. 




-- Fussy

Wednesday, January 30, 2019


The first photos of them together.  They appear to be with Dr. Stan Katz in his office in Beverly Hills.    There are times when they all seem to be deep in thought, no one including Dr. Katz is talking, and they may be listening to a recording.  There was more listening on Jan 25 and more animated discussion on Jan. 30. 

Brad is the one more involved in the discussions, at one point approaching Dr. Katz to show him something on a cellphone.  He is also seen putting away what looks like a notebook or diary.  

Dr. Katz's room is long and narrow.  The wall opposite his desk is able to accommodate only two small frames which are frequently certificates of accomplishments.  The sofa they are on is just wide enough to fit between the bookcase and the window.

It's poetic justice that legal restrictions on unauthorized, intrusive photos inside any doctor's office meant that the paps couldn't sell these.

Sitting in a small office next to floor-to-ceiling glass windows, they knew they could be seen and photographed on both dates.   of the other mental health professionals or any lawyers.  They didn't need anyone else's advice or input. 

Other than the cellphone and possibly Brad's notebook or diary, they don't appear to be holding or reading anything on paper.  Dr. Katz is always shown leaning back on his chair.  He is never seen looking at anything on his desk or even leaning close to it.

They hired Dr. Katz two years ago, in January 2017, and have had many custody evaluations since then but this is the first time they allowed themselves to be seen with him. 

Although the paps were posted around the building with powerful telephoto lenses, there are no photos of them arriving or leaving Dr. Katz's office on Jan. 30.  Not even of their car.  Their security successfully kept the paps from having any view of the vicinity of the entrance and parking. 




Notable:

Jan. 25
Everyone is thoughtfully listening.




Wearing her gold band on her right ring finger.

Looking at something together while Dr. Katz appears to be looking at a book or tablet or cell phone.

Smiling up at Brad


Talking to Dr. Katz



Brad reaches over to assist Angelina when he sees her pulling her shawl over her shoulders.






And she starts to smile.


Putting away a notebook or diary, showing off his famous tattoo and wearing his bike chain bracelet.

Looking down


Jan. 30
Angelina and Dr. Katz converse while Brad sits beside her, partly hidden.


Brad leans forward




Enthusiastic, animated, smiling.


Showing off her wide gold band on her right ring finger.  Smiling

Gesturing











His hand appears to be where her crossed right leg would be.

Crossing her legs the other way.



No bike chain bracelet.


Standing right in front of her holding a jacket.

Showing Dr. Katz his cellphone





Wearing his Breitling watch


Eyeing the scene below. 


legion
fas
ajb
who



TIMELINE

Dec. 28, 2018
BBC How do they learn about the outside world?  And I ask that in the context of how we are all understanding the outside world.  And about social media and tech companies, and about what we can trust, etc.  What do you do at home?
AJ "I think like most parents, we try our best to insert good stuff.  We can't control everything they're exposed to." "So we try to ask that they will talk to us about anything they saw that bothers them or that they’re concerned about.”

Nov. 30, 2018
"It is not permanent but rather a temporary agreement in place, for now, to keep things moving along in the right direction.”  She “is very pleased to be entering the next stage and relieved with progress for the health of their family.”

August 2018
Angelina has “tried to bridge the gap between the kids and their dad. She’s worked to achieve reinstatement for them. 
Angelina remains focused on healing her family.  She continues to support the reconciliation of the children with Brad.

December 2017
For Pitt “the process has been difficult,” says a source close to the situation. “But he is OK and remains committed to his family.”

September 2017
 “None of it’s easy. It’s very, very difficult, a very painful situation, and I just want my family healthy,” she said quietly."

June 2017
"(The DeMille) is a big jump forward for us, and we’re all trying to do our best to heal our family."
"We care for each other and care about our family, and we are both working towards the same goal.
"We’re all just healing from the events that led to the filing . . . They’re not healing from divorce. They’re healing from some . . . from life, from things in life
.”

April 2017
"A few months ago I was having frightening dreams and I'd consciously lie awake trying to ask, What can I get out of this? What can I learn from this? Those ceased. And now I have been having moments of joy, and you wake and realize it's just a dream, and I get a bit depressed for the moment. Just the moment, just glimpse moments of joy because I know I'm just in the middle of this thing now and I'm not at the beginning of it or at the end of it, just where this chapter is right now.  I just don't want to dodge any of it.  I just want to stand there, shirt open, and take my hits."

February 2017
"We will be stronger when we come out of this because that's what we're determined to do as a family."
“I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer."  

December 1, 2016
"I understand that Brad is frustrated but feel that it is incumbent upon us to help this family achieve their long-term reunification goals in a smooth and expeditious manner....Is it not the end goal that within the next 6-12 months Brad is enjoying frequent and continuous contact with all of the children on a joint custodial basis?"

November 29, 2016
"For the past 3 months, Brad has complied with every aspect of the therapy process, notwithstanding ongoing concerns that the therapy team has ignored or disregarded issues that he has raised...
As I mentioned yesterday, it would be misleading for me to tell you that the request for access may be impacted by the opinions of the kids' therapists."

Sept. 20, 2016
This decision was made for the health of the family.


Thanks Felicity and Pride&Joy

Stan Katz