Random Fuzzy
In Summary
When the Judgement on Custody and Visitation was filed last November, they were very eager to let the public know, announcing it on Nov. 30 one week ahead of the Dec. 7 posting online. They said they were "very pleased" and "relieved."
“A custody arrangement was agreed to weeks ago, and has been signed by both parties and the judge,” Samantha Bley DeJean said in a statement to Reuters and ET.This contrasts sharply with how they've handled the Judgement on Status. There was only a brief quote after it appeared in the Court listing that People attributed to "a source":
“The agreement, which is based on the recommendations of the child custody evaluator, eliminates the need for a trial. The filing and details of the agreement are confidential to protect the best interests of the children.”
A source close to Jolie said that she “is very pleased to be entering the next stage and relieved with progress for the health of their family.”
A source tells PEOPLE, “It is not permanent but rather a temporary agreement in place, for now, to keep things moving along in the right direction.”
“Both parents are focused on what’s best for the kids."All they are willing to say is that "what's best for the kids" has guided this and all their actions and decisions -- that means everything from the filing of the petition up to and including obtaining this latest judgement and whatever comes after. And that as the Miraval site makes clear, they are ONE as they have been from the start.
"The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification."Since they hired Judge Ouderkirk and issued that statement, whether for direct attribution or not, there has been only one point of view for both of them in People. They shut down everyone else whether authorized or pretending to be.
"Publicist, I never really got along with. Had to have them for emergencies and it's never worked out."
From the absence of any advance notice to the omission of "marital" before "status" in the description attached to the sealed judgement, from the lack of any statement from Bley-DeJean, Mindy Nyby,or Lance Spiegel to the absence of any reference to the judgement in their quote, they obviously wanted to quietly slip this in without acknowledging what it is supposed to be.
There was speculation that they filed the judgement for tax purposes -- the key difference being that spousal support becomes tax deductible on federal tax returns. But they have no spousal support and child support -- which they share equally -- is not tax deductible. Brad's biggest source of income for his latest tax returns would be his $10M fee for OUATIH. On the other hand, two of Plan B's films released the past year, If Beale Street Could Talk and Vice, produced in partnership with Annapurna, garnered awards and nominations but did poorly at the box office and are expected to result in $30M in losses. Whatever their taxable income, I seriously doubt they would do this just to save on taxes.
With two judgements in hand, the whole divorce case could be easily finalized with a third judgement settling their properties and finances. Since the petition was filed, they added the DeMille in which Brad has a 1/3 stake by virtue of his $8M "loan." The DeMille will likely be considered part of their community property under California law since most if not all of the funds both Brad and Angelina used were earned before the petition was filed. Neither of them had started any new film before the DeMille closed in early June, 2017. Brad's Allied opened in November 2016 but he would not have received any profit bonus for it since it lost over $75M for Paramount. For obvious reasons, couples who are in the midst of divorce do not add to their financial entanglements. That Brad and Angelina have continued to pour millions into joint investments like the DeMille and the expansion of Miraval's wine business (the only big investments either of them are known to have made) shows they have every intention of remaining partners and keeping their community properties intact.
When the court rejected Brad's ex-parte request for an order to seal records on December 7, 2016, it said "the proposed broad sealing order fails to meet the requirements of the California Rule of Court 2.550." It added that "the Court recognized the privacy rights of the minor children and will be guided by what is in the minor children's best interests." For the Court to agree to seal the Judgement on Status and 4 attachments, they would have had to successfully convince the Court that it was in the children's best interests to do so. That means those filings are not just about the two of them but substantially involve the children. That this is not simply a judgement on status only.
When the May 30 Order leaked, they said the leak was "misleading" and gives an "inaccurate and unfair picture of what is really happening." Because they agreed to stay within the framework of a dissolution case as a safeguard for the children, they must choose from the associated legal filings what they can use to help them achieve "recovery and reunification." Those filings -- the May 30 order and the sealed judgement on status -- are merely tools to nudge the children to improve their relationship with Brad. The filings thus provide a misleading and inaccurate picture of what is really happening.
Mindy Nyby issued a statement on August 7, 2018 when they had a public spat just before the end of the Summer schedule and Bley-DeJean filed a request for a case management conference:
the "aim of Angelina's routine filing is to promote closure to the marriage in a way that clears a path toward the next stage of their lives and allows her and Brad to recommit as devoted co-parents to their children."Nyby's earlier statement would be just as applicable and appropriate now. But this is only nominally a judgement on status, it was drafted for a far different purpose and they wanted to say as little as possible.
"The truth is that my children have seen things about themselves even from what's considered serious news people that are inaccurate. So my children have a very odd sense of who's telling the truth and what the truth really is and what they actually believe or trust."
This time last year they were preparing the May 30 Order containing the Summer Schedule. A psychiatrist and a neuropsycholgist had taken over from the trauma specialists and designed and directed the Schedule. The children have fully recovered from the trauma and there was no medical reason for them not to be with Brad, but the children were still distrustful of him, refusing to have any relationship with him or be alone with him. The Order was an effort at court intervention to force the children to open up to Brad. The Order contained the Court's reassurance to the children that they are safe with their father and an admonition that not having a relationship with him was harmful to them. The schedule was designed as a two-month intensive bonding boot camp that included weaning the children off their need to have Angelina looking after them to feel safe with Brad. It was only at the very end of the Summer effort that the children were left entirely alone with Brad with neither the mental health professionals nor Angelina within reach for them.
Largely as a result of those efforts, by late November, they had finally made enough progress to be able to have the Judgement on Custody and Visitation.
(At Home) "I think like most parents, we try our best to insert good stuff. We can't control everything they're exposed to. So we try to ask that they will talk to us about anything they saw that bothers them or that they’re concerned about.”But while things have been "moving along in the right direction,” they are still short of where Dr. Katz believes they should be. This sealed judgment may work "best for the kids" to get them there. It was the kids who prodded them to get married and served as wedding planners:
“We’re getting a lot of pressure from the kids. It means something to them and they’re, you know, they have questions when their friends’ parents are married and why is that?It's a carrot and stick approach that is entirely centered on the children's love for Angelina. In the May 30 Order, the stick was the children would lose time with Angelina if, at the end of the schedule, they were still seen to be "closed down" to Brad. That stick could work because of how much the children value being with her. The carrot is restoring their parents' marriage which they worked long and hard to bring about and which will mean Angelina's last name will again be the same as theirs.
When she wrote Angelina Jolie-Pitt on the FTKMF banner for the 2017-2018 Awards season, it was the first time she publicly hyphenated her name the same way as the children. It probably meant a lot to them that they all had exactly the same name. If the children again want their parents to be married and for their mother to again share the same last name with them, they will have to work harder at being the family they were before. Specifically, they will need to restore their relationship with their father to what it was leading up to the marriage.
While promoting By the Sea:
"My children have had the Jolie-Pitt name for a long time. I finally have the name of my children. We were feeling like there was mommy’s side and daddy’s side, and the kids were Jolie-Pitt so it was nice to join them.
I don’t think people need to get married. It’s something to say to those who aren’t married—it’s nice to do it when you don’t need it. When you feel that it’s not something that you need to complete you or it’s going to take you to a next level, when you feel like it’s something you already earned and it’s something that becomes official, it just feels very nice."
"I was surprised afterwards at the effect that getting married has had on us – it was more than just a ceremony, it meant a real depth of commitment. I feel like a married man – I really do."
“If anything, it challenges you because you really start to think about the rest of your life. You feel very tied. It’s interesting for me having his last name."In the past few weeks, Angelina made a solo trip to NY, spent a few days in Chicago with Maddox, and made another solo trip to Siem Reap, giving Brad extended bonding time alone with the kids. There will be more while she films Those Who Wish Me Dead. It is perhaps not a coincidence that the Summer effort coincided with her filming Maleficent 2 and this new effort is timed for while she is busy with TWWMD.
The May 30 Order and the Judgement on Status on the surface appear to be very different legal filings, but both were drafted with the same end goals: to help restore Brad's relationship with the children to what it was before the plane incident. Their immediate goal now seems more easily attainable compared to last summer's goals and should be accomplished within a similar time frame.
"We’re all just healing from the events that led to the filing. They’re not healing from divorce. They’re healing from some . . . from life, from things in life.”
When Angelina spoke of their commitment to the children as being life-long and bigger than marriage, she thought all that mattered was for them to maintain their commitment, she did not think that the children would ever receive it differently. She never imagined it was possible for a rupture to develop between Brad and the children so severe as to result in the children rejecting en masse Brad's commitment to them. Angelina has been emphatic that they are and will always be a family, but they needed to heal the break in order to live and function normally as a family.
"Marriage didn’t change anything for us. I have been married before, but I didn’t have children. Marriage is a certain commitment but when you have children with somebody, that is such a huge commitment that you could never walk away from and that is your life.Their commitments to the children and to each other remain firmly in place. Spiegel noted that multiple sources as well as public and private statements from Angelina vouched that Brad had been a great father. But for all that and all his efforts since, Brad clearly lacked the ability to restore his relationship with the children on his own. He needed Angelina's active help -- and she helped every way she could, including with the May 30 Order and the judgement on status.
So the biggest change for me was when I signed over the papers and Brad officially adopted Zahara and Maddox. That was the day when I realized that suddenly, I was tying myself to this man for the rest of my life. That was many years ago."
"We are and forever will be a family. I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer.
Angelina has “tried to bridge the gap between the kids and their dad. She’s worked to achieve reinstatement for them.
After living in Malibu for several months, the children did not want to go back to live in Brad's house in Hollywood Hills. The DeMille was the rare home near their compound that could satisfy their space and security needs. They snapped it up as soon as it was listed, setting a new record high for the area.
"(The DeMille) is a big jump forward for us, and we’re all trying to do our best to heal our family.""All" is the two of them. It was a major concession for them to accept the need for another home apart from the family compound that "has always been his kids' “childhood home” -- even more than shelling out for a house that many real estate observers thought was overpriced. It was especially difficult for Brad who had assembled, designed and built their compound. The week that the DeMille went on the market in late March/early April 2017 was also the week of his GQ interview.
"It's been a more painful week than normal—just certain things have come up"
"It took me a few months to realize that I was really going to have to do it. That there was going to have to be another base regardless of everything,” she said, her voice falling quiet and low, as it would each time the subject of the split arose. “That there was going to have to be a home. Another home.”
“It has a lot of moments,” Ms. Jolie said of the home, “It’s happy. Happy and light, and we needed that.”
As the person the children love and trust most, Angelina's continued reassurance is very important. She has been steadfast in her resolve to selflessly help and protect everyone else.
"Angelina remains focused on healing her family. She continues to support the reconciliation of the children with Brad."
"I think it is not said enough how much we need the men in our lives to be strong and capable and the best they can be.”
Sitting with "horrible feelings" as he grappled with the repercussions of his behavior, a guilt-ridden Brad had whiled away time creating scenarios of his "fiery demise" and "horrible end." He credited "a lot of love" from the beauty in his life and "a lot of love" for her with keeping him from becoming seriously suicidal. A lot of love made him stronger and gave him reasons to live.
"A few months ago I was having frightening dreams and I'd consciously lie awake trying to ask, What can I get out of this? What can I learn from this?"
"Sitting with those horrible feelings, and needing to understand them, and putting them into place."
"I know the people who love me know me. And that's enough for me."
"If I'm not creating something, doing something, putting it out there, then I'll just be creating scenarios of fiery demise in my mind. You know, a horrible end."
“I’m not suicidal or something. There’s still much beauty in the world and a lot of love. And a lot of love to be given."
"Our focus is that everyone comes out stronger and better people—there is no other outcome."
"I have a responsibility to myself and my family to remain true and authentic. I treat people whom I love honestly and sincerely."
With his relationship with the children still on the mend, it is notable that Brad has always mentioned the people he loves and who love him in the interviews he has given. It is a reflection of the overwhelming love and gratitude he feels towards the one person who has always returned his love and to whom he owes his life -- Angelina. Angelina has been a bit more discreet, saying that they "care for each other."
ca. By the Sea:
“[Brad] made it very, very clear to me that what he loved and what was a woman to him was somebody who was smart, and capable, and cared about her family, that it’s not about your physical body,”
"I feel like you have to really maintain yourself and you have to help the person you are with to be the best version of himself. You need to really stay… [the way] you are and make sure that you are not asking him to bend in a way that is not natural to him."
Brad has worked hard at addressing his problems. He hasn't been seen holding any alcoholic beverage in public since 2016 - a point he sought to emphasize in posing with a glass of milk for the OUATIH interviews in Esquire. He has had weekly individual and group therapy sessions -- the only one in the family who was specifically required to do so under the Custody Stipulation. The children had counseling as determined by the therapists. Angelina's role was to look after the children and join them and Brad in family therapy sessions.
"For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street."
"This last year, things I wasn't dealing with. I was boozing too much. It's just become a problem."
"Any of my foibles are born from my own hubris."
"I'm an asshole when it comes to this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. It's done me no good whatsoever. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I'm well aware of that. I hit the lottery, and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits"
The therapists' initial estimate for recovery -- six months to a year -- seemed long at the time Wasser mentioned it in her email to Spiegel, but it turns out they underestimated the problems and it may be closer to three years by the time they're deemed to have fully healed and achieve full reunification.
Brad had initially struggled to comprehend the full extent of the damage to his relationship with the children and the need to strictly follow the therapeutic process overseen by the therapists. His efforts in late 2016 to rush the process and obtain nontherapeutic visits when the children were far from ready, accompanied by public posturing and misrepresentation in support of those efforts, would have further upset the children and hindered his progress.
"When I get in trouble it's because of my hubris."He got in trouble again in August 2018 just before Angelina and the children were due back in L.A. from London. He was again being an "asshole" in a "hallow quest for justice for some perceived slight" and it made Angelina upset enough to respond with the request for case management and publicly accuse him of reneging on his financial responsibilities. He came very close to jeopardizing all the gains they made (and by extension his life) coming as it did just before the custody evaluation to gauge the results of the Summer effort. It was another mindless "hallow pursuit" when he knows he already hit the lottery that did him "no good whatsoever" -- and very nearly cost him the lottery. He swiftly make amends with Angelina and however he managed to do it, she was beaming happily when she arrived in L.A. just four days later.
"In the end, you find: I am those things I don't like. I need to face that and take care of that.""That" has not yet been fully taken cared of but what is more important is he's determined to and continues to work on it.
The biggest question obviously is what transpired on that Sept. 14, 2016 plane ride back from Miraval and why it caused such deep and long-lasting damage to Brad's relationship with the kids.
The other big question they must ponder is how different things might have been if the DCFS was never involved. If the family might have healed faster. The DCFS met the plane when it landed and interviewed everyone as they stepped off. What they saw and heard led to their decision to open an investigation for child abuse. The DCFS regarded Brad as a threat to the children and they put in place a child safety plan and placed a restraining order on Brad, restricting him from going near the children or the place where they lived. That forced Angelina to file the petition in order to comply with DCFS requirements and convince the DCFS she would protect the children from Brad if they allowed the children to stay with her. They were prohibited from having any direct contact and all communications had to go through their lawyers while the safety plan was in effect. The process the family is trying to complete is one of the safeguards for the children that the DCFS put in place before it ended it's investigation and cleared Brad of child abuse.
"The job of the DCFS is to make sure the children are in a safe and secure situation. As we said earlier this week, childcare professionals encouraged a legal agreement accepted and signed by both sides that was in the best interest of the children. Angelina said from the beginning that she felt she had to take action for the health of the family and is relieved that after their 8-week involvement, the DCFS is now satisfied the safeguards are put in place that will allow the children to heal."If the DCFS was never involved, the family would still have the trauma therapists, and the psychiatrist and neuropsychologist, but there would be no lawyers. The petition would not have been filed without the DCFS. There would be no court filings to chart their progress or lack thereof.
Brad had wanted to challenge the DCFS's actions in court and his lawyers drafted the S&O to seal (to prevent public disclosure of the DCFS's findings) a week after the petition was filed. He also wanted to push past the children's therapists and have nontherapeutic visits with the children against their recommendations. Angelina did not want them to resort to litigation to rush reunification. After Brad came around they were able to hire Judge Ouderkirk who officiated at their wedding in Miraval.
"I was really on my back and chained to a system when Child Services was called."
"It's just very, very jarring for the kids, to suddenly have their family ripped apart. If anyone can make sense of it, we have to."
"Angie's reluctance to enter into a stipulation to seal the file stems from her firm belief that litigation is the wrong decision."
"I heard one lawyer say, “No one wins in court—it's just a matter of who gets hurt worse.” And it seems to be true, you spend a year just focused on building a case to prove your point and why you're right and why they're wrong, and it's just an investment in vitriolic hatred. I just refuse. And fortunately my partner in this agrees"
"And you know, after that, we've been able to work together to sort this out. We're both doing our best."
"I don't like (being single). It's not something I wanted. There’s just nothing nice about it. It’s just hard."
"We care for each other and care about our family, and we are both working towards the same goal.
“None of it’s easy. It’s very, very difficult, a very painful situation, and I just want my family healthy,”
The case remains open and the Judgement on Custody and Visitation is temporary. A divorce judgement is usually hard to reverse although the court may be a bit more understanding given the highly unusual circumstances and whatever specific provisions were added to the sealed Judgement on Status.
They've never faced a more challenging situation and it is one that should make them stronger and closer. They can look back on this years from now and see how they rose together to meet the challenge as a beautiful thing.
"I’m happy we did that film (By the Sea) because we did explore something together, and whatever it was, maybe it didn’t solve certain things, but we did communicate something that maybe needed to be communicated to each other.”She had said:
"We thought, this is the best honeymoon because we felt, as the film says in the end—whatever you go through, weather the storm and stay together. It was a message to each other of we are going to weather whatever comes and we are going to stick together."
"—we have to try to hold tight together, work things out and work things through no matter how bad they get."
“When something happens in your life that’s a dramatic thing, you either pull together or you go into your own,” Jolie Pitt says, referring to By the Sea and the trauma that drives a wedge between Roland and Vanessa. “So many times, people divorce very quickly. To me, if this film has a message, it’s that you have to try to weather the storm together no matter what. And that’s a beautiful thing.”
Their inner circle fiercely protects all information about them. Their friends and associates like Loung Ung, Thomas Houseaego, Spike Jonze, Holly Goline, Mindy Nyby etc. are very careful and tight-lipped. They would never divulge anything to anyone outside their circle. Before the May 30 Order leaked, there was not so much as a whiff anywhere that a psychiatrist and neuropsychologist had already taken over from the trauma therapists in treating the children. That is a key to understanding why they are way past the initial 6 months to a year estimate given by the therapists for reinstatement between Brad and the children. No one outside knew that the kids did not feel safe alone with Brad and did not have a relationship with him because no one in their inner circle talks. They know how to keep information locked down tight. They declined to say anything to CNN. To put it simply: those who know don't talk and those who talk don't know. It should be obvious that all the reports the tabloids churn out are silly concoctions they made up to fool the stupid and gullible. Reading tabloid fiction is a complete waste of your time. You are merely encouraging further garbage production. Don't be gullible.
-- Fussy
