Nicole Vichroski
When kelly ripa asks the fashion commentators what they thought of angelina jolie and they all have orgasms on stage #ifeelya #oscarsrewind
Jim Rash's Osc
ar
pose stole the show: "It certainly was not my intention to steal the
show. When you're one of multiple nominees, you get a letter telling you
to designate one speaker. Alexander (Payne) was ours. I did not set out to mock Angelina [Jolie]
by any means. But I was watching her own that moment up there, rocking
that look and sort of laughing as she posed. Then after your name is
called, you're overwhelmed by emotion you can't articulate, and I wanted
to silently show my pride. So I did that. And although everyone took it
as me spoofing her, I was just trying to own that moment the way she
had." CHARLOTTE OBSERVER
The Oscars were typically narcissistic, awkward, self-congratulatory and overblown - I thoroughly enjoyed them
Last updated at 10:00 PM on 3rd March 2012WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 22
Oscars week in Los Angeles is like being in Willy Wonka’s factory if you like chocolate.It really IS as impossibly glamorous and exciting as you’d imagine. The world’s biggest stars attending the world’s most luxurious parties along Hollywood and Sunset Boulevard.
BEST SUPPORTING LIMB: Angelina Jolie's right
leg. All right, its performance was a bit stiff, but there was no
denying its quality, or movement
Until now.
By glorious coincidence, I’ve just landed my first role – playing myself in Denzel Washington’s next thriller, Flight.
And today was filming day.
To my amazement, the director turned up in person at CNN’s studios in West Hollywood.
I say amazement because this wasn’t just any old director – he was Robert Zemeckis, genius behind the Back To The Future series, Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Forrest Gump.
Brad Pitt, nominated for Best Actor, arrives
‘Just feel free to ad-lib a bit,’ he replied. ‘Go with the flow.’
A hyena has responded with less gusto to a freshly slain gazelle’s carcass.
I only had six official lines – interviewing two of the film’s key characters in my own studio – but managed to string this out to about 30, unleashing my full range of theatrical ability in an Olivier-esque tour de force.
Or, as Robert put it, with what appeared to be a straight face: ‘You’re a natural.’
Sacha Baron Cohen 'accidentally' tips Kim Jong Il's ashes over Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet
‘Robert, have you considered how Denzel’s going to feel when he realises I’ve stolen two of his best scenes?’
The director looked at me, slowly and without speaking for a few seconds. Then burst out laughing.
‘I suspect Denzel will be fairly relaxed about that particular threat.
’
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 25
Tonight was the Night Before charity gala at the Beverly Hills Hotel – a ridiculously sumptuous occasion run by the DreamWorks movie people.It’s one of those parties where at every turn, quite literally, you bump into someone stratospherically famous.
At the sushi bar, I was stopped in my tracks by Prince Albert of Monaco, standing with his new bride, Princess Charlene.
‘Piers, great to see you again,’ he smiled, deploying words rarely used by the British Royals when they clap eyes on me.
We talked movies, Monte Carlo and the Olympics – both he and Charlene are Olympians, making them the first royal couple to have that fact in common.
BEST USE OF LIGHTING: The shadow over Jennifer
Lopez's dress, leading to the greatest 'did it or didn't it' internet
debates since Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl
‘I did NOT run away on the eve of my wedding!’ she exclaimed at one stage, adding with inarguable logic: ‘Why on earth would I do that? I was about to marry my prince!’
Later, she made an offer few could refuse.
‘Albert and I are going to watch the rugby in a pub in the morning with Russell Crowe – want to come?’
‘I’d love to, Your Royal Highness, but I’ll be watching Arsenal-Spurs, I’m afraid.’
Sir Elton John appeared.
‘Elton, how the devil are you? Behaving yourself?’
‘Trying not to,’ he cackled. ‘How’s your little girl?’
‘Three months and looking more beautiful every day.’
Elton’s eyes lit up.
‘Babies are just the greatest thing, aren’t they? I just love my boy more and more every day.’
‘Nothing like it.’
Christopher Plummer delivers his thank you speech after winning the Best Supporting Actor Oscar
And there we stood, for several minutes, discussing the delights of fatherhood.
Later, I finally met one of my heroes, Steven Spielberg.
‘I watch your CNN show every night at 6pm,’ he revealed, ‘on my Slingbox (an amazing device that lets you watch TV via your laptop) while I’m in the editing suite. And if I hear something that interests me, I stop editing and listen.’
‘How often do you stop?’
‘Enough. Relax.’
‘How about coming on as a guest?’
‘I’d like to, but I’m not very good at being funny.’
‘Who said you have to be funny? You’re Steven Spielberg, not Ricky Gervais! Just come and talk to me about the art of making movies – I’d love that.’
He smiled. ‘OK, maybe we could do that.’
It never ceases to amaze me who watches my show.
‘I enjoy you EVERY night. In fact, I absolutely LOVE you.’
Another day, another crazy fan.
Then I looked closer. It couldn’t be, could it..?
It was Diane Keaton, one of my favourite actresses of all time.
‘You have no idea how happy you just made me,’ I gushed.
‘Oh, don’t be silly, you make ME happy!’ she insisted.
I know, I know, ridiculous, but it happened, and I’ll take it.
Next to the Nobu counter I saw Meryl Streep with her husband, Don. She was frantically texting on her iPhone.
‘I’ve lost my daughter and am trying to find her,’ she said, when I introduced myself.
She looked really anxious.
‘Oh no,’ I replied, ‘where is she? What’s happened? Can I help?’
Meryl looked up from her phone and laughed.
‘Oh don’t worry, it’s nothing serious, she’s somewhere in this room!’
We had a chat about her brilliant portrayal of Margaret Thatcher.
‘Could you jab me in the chest?’ I asked.
‘Now why would I do that, Piers?’
‘Because Mrs Thatcher once did that to me, and I wanted to see if you’d perfected the technique.’
Oscar-winning actor Jean Dujardin and The Artist's star actor, Uggie
‘Amazing,’ I sighed, ‘exactly the same. Did you like her by the time filming ended?’
‘I felt in AWE of her,’ she replied. ‘Whether you agreed with her politics or not, she was a remarkable woman.
'To do what she did, when she did it, in a world dominated by men, was quite extraordinary.’
Thatcher, like Blair, is still much more popular in the States than in Britain.
‘Why is that?’ asked Meryl. ‘I’ve never understood it.’
‘They both ruled as Prime Minister for over a decade – do any big political job that long, and everyone ends up hating you.’
‘I guess so, yes!’
Meryl’s every bit as beautiful, warm and classy as you’d imagine. Surprisingly shy, too.
‘I’ve been trying to get you on my show all year,’ I moaned.
‘I know,’ she smiled, with the faintly dismissive smile the Queen must give when a stranger says, ‘I’ve waited all my life to meet you.’
‘I just don’t like doing interviews,’ she clarified. ‘It’s nothing personal. I hate talking about myself.’
‘I don’t blame you,’ I admitted. ‘I’ve always thought if I was Meryl Streep or Jack Nicholson, I wouldn’t do any interviews either. I’d just walk around, saying nothing, being Meryl or Jack. But I have to warn you. The fact you haven’t will probably cost you the Oscar tomorrow night.’
Meryl nodded sorrowfully: ‘Of course, I realise this.’
As I left, at 1am, I spotted Larry King ARRIVING. He’s 79 years old, has had eight wives, and recorded 7,000 shows in 25 years as my predecessor.
And he’s still getting to parties as I leave. Kudos to The King.
At the Vanity Fair post-Oscars party Gwyneth Paltrow was begging Steve Martin for a photo on her smartphone
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 26
The Oscars themselves were typically narcissistic, awkward, self-congratulatory, simpering and overblown – and I thoroughly enjoyed them. My own awards would have gone as follows:MOST DISHONEST SPEECH Every one of the 3,456 winners from the movie Hugo who exclaimed: ‘Wow, I wasn’t expecting this!’
MOST HONEST SPEECH Christopher Plummer, who surely spoke for the whole room when he said: ‘When I emerged from my mother’s womb, I was already rehearsing my Academy acceptance speech.’
BEST SUPPORTING LIMB Angelina’s right leg. All right, its performance was a bit stiff, but there was no denying its quality, or movement.
WORST FOREIGN LANGUAGE ACCENT Christian Bale. As we all know, there is not a single inch of the British Isles where you will find another human being that speaks like that.
BEST DRESS Sofia Vergara. It’s always Sofia Vergara, and she wasn’t even at the ceremony.
BEST USE OF LIGHTING The shadow over Jennifer Lopez’s dress, leading to the greatest ‘did it or didn’t it’ internet debates since Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl.
BEST CONTROLLED FURY Ryan Seacrest after Sacha Baron Cohen tipped Kim Jong Il’s ashes over his smart new tuxedo. If looks could kill, it will be Mr Baron Cohen’s ashes we see next.
BEST IMPERSONATION Billy Crystal doing Martin Scorsese doing Nick Nolte. ‘Take Nolte… grrrrrrrraaaaaagggghhhhh.’
SECOND-BEST IMPERSONATION Colin Firth, playing me. Twitter always lights up whenever he appears at these things, with Americans saying we’re twins. It pleases me as deeply as it distresses him.
POSSESSION OF AN OFFENSIVE EIGHTIES HAIRSTYLE Brad Pitt. Come on son, raise your game – who do you think you are, Peter Stringfellow?
BIGGEST MISTAKE Michel Hazanavicius, who managed to forget to thank both the most important people in his life when he won Best Director for The Artist: his wife (and star in the film) Bérénice Bejo, and his producer Harvey Weinstein. He made up for it later when the movie won Best Picture, but still remains in the Uggie House.
LEAST SURPRISING SURPRISE Meryl Streep winning Best Actress. She hadn’t won for 30 years, despite being the world’s best actress ever since then. And she didn’t do my show…
David and Victoria Beckham arrive at the Vanity Fair party
Within minutes of arriving, I saw David Beckham chortling with Tom Cruise, Victoria Beckham scowling at photographers (as always – it’s her way of telling them she loves them) and Gwyneth Paltrow begging Steve Martin for a photo on her smartphone.
As I walked through the middle of the main room, a beautiful, absurdly tall and slim blonde woman stood in front of me, barefoot.
Then, very slowly, put both equally absurdly high heels on, one by one, without once using her hands.
Within minutes of arriving at the Vanity Fair post-Oscars party I saw David Beckham chortling with Tom Cruise
She rose back up to her full, imperious 6ft 4in heel-clad stature, winked at me, and shimmied away.
It was Karolina Kurkova, the Czech supermodel.
Mad Men heart-throb Jon Hamm, who witnessed the same scene, raised an eyebrow and smirked. Words were superfluous.
Gerard Butler’s been in the wars recently, with ferocious tabloid attention to his rehab visit at the Betty Ford Clinic for ‘painkiller addiction’.
But he looked fit, tanned, and svelte.
‘That’s the kind of rehab I need,’ I joked. ‘You OK?’
‘I’m fine now, but it’s been a rough few weeks,’ he replied.
‘Just had all these old injuries flaring up, and the mixture of 16-hour filming days and endless pills for the pain took its toll. Needed to go and sort myself out.’
‘Judging by all the attractive women in here cooing over your rehabbed new torso, I don’t think there’s going to be a shortage of willing amateur nurses…’
He laughed. ‘No pain, no gain, eh?’
BEST DRESS: Sofia Vergara. It's always Sofia Vergara, and she wasn't even at the ceremony
I use the word ‘buzz’ appropriately.
One of them was Buzz Aldrin, the astronaut. He, too, defies his 82 years in remarkable style.
He nearly broke my hand with his rock-hard handshake, then scribbled down his contact details. ‘I want to come on your show and talk about Mars,’ he said.
‘I’d love that. By the way, Buzz, I’ve left many parties with odd names scrawled on bits of paper – but never a guy who’s landed on the Moon. Thanks.’
Cameron Diaz is delightfully crazy. A real bundle of amusement at parties.
She was being harangued by two drooling young British men, so I intervened.
‘Guys, she’s WAY out of your league.’
Cameron squealed with giggles.
‘My hero!’
She kissed me on both cheeks.
‘Anything for a damsel in distress.’
Gerard Butler's been in the wars recently, with
ferocious tabloid attention to his rehab visit at the Betty Ford Clinic
for 'painkiller addiction'
‘The Something About Mary sequel?’ I suggested.
At which point I think I felt a sharply pointed shoe connect with my ankle.
I turned to find myself face to face with Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs, the world’s most celebrated rapper.
Like 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Pharrell Williams and most other rappers I’ve met, Diddy is smart, softly spoken and immaculately attired.
‘I’ve interviewed Fiddy, it’s time for Diddy,’ I said, trying to speak to him in the rap language he might appreciate.
He looked at me like I’d just recited a Chesney Hawkes song.
Michelle Williams was out on a balcony in her stunning red gown, puffing on a crafty cigarette (you’d be astonished how many actors smoke).
‘Good news,’ I told her.
‘Oh? What?’
‘I’ve voted you in my Top Three dresses of the night.’
‘Wow! That’s amazing, THANK you!’ she responded. ‘What an incredible honour, Piers.’ Said with all the sincerity of a Simon Cowell compliment.
‘Don’t mention it, least I could do.’
As I made to leave, a firm arm gripped my shoulder.
‘I’ll do your show if you pay me $40,’ said Chevy Chase.
I paused for thought.
‘Can we make it $30?’
Negotiation is EVERYTHING in Hollywood.
Busy Philipps On Angelina Jolie’s Oscar Leg Pose: It Was ‘The Best Moment Of The Night’
Since Busy Philipps was sitting front row at the Academy Awards, she gives a first-hand account of Angelina Jolie’s leg pose on stage that is getting so much attention. What did she think of “The Descendant’s” screenwriter Jim Rash making fun of the pose? Plus, did she see Angelina’s reaction to Jim’s imitation?http://bcove.me/6003bifo
