Monday, February 20, 2017




Random Fuzzy


She said, "it was a very difficult time" -- past tense.  The very difficult period is over

we are a family and we will always be a family, and we will get through this time and hopefully be a stronger family for it,
"“My whole, my family… we’ve all been through a difficult time. My focus is my children, our children… and my focus is finding this way through. We are and forever will be a family. I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer."

The above lines are a very clear and definitive statement that she, Brad and the children are together and the family is again whole.

You know that this difficult chapter in their lives that started on the plane is about to close because she wouldn't have been able to talk about it if there were still unresolved issues keeping them apart.  She would have broken down at the mere mention of it.   The "very difficult time" is now just a painful memory and has been followed by happier ones which is why she was able to quickly regain her composure and say calmly and firmly, "We are a family. And we will always be a family."  In contrast, it is still very difficult for her not to cry when she talks about her mother.   This chapter will be fully closed when they issue their next statement -- or perhaps discuss it in an interview -- and appear publicly together.


A family that goes through divorce is permanently a broken family.  A week after she filed,  a "family member " told PEOPLE, "Her family is broken and she is in agony."  She is no longer in agony because her family has been reunited, the children have fully recovered and they are again all living together.  They've accomplished recovery and reunification.


Angelina made a point to repeatedly say "we are a family"and I highlighted "a" because the meaning is very different from "we are family" without the "a".  "We are family" without the "a" means they have a close relationship, but "a" family means that they are one, single, united, unbroken unit.  And "be a stronger family for it" makes the additional point that not only are they a family but the bond that holds the family together will be even stronger.  To emphasize the point, she repeated, "We are and forever will be a family.  I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer.  The meaning is very clear and unambiguous -- she wants to make sure that after having worked through its problems, that the family moves forward held by stronger bonds and closer relationships


She wants to make sure that in the incident's aftermath, the newly reestablished bond between Brad and the children stays strong and firm and they continue to have a deeper appreciation and understanding of each other.  This was why she wanted to strictly follow the advice of the therapists, to make sure the children heal properly and emerge with a more solid and stable relationship with their father.  She often said that every challenge she and Brad faced has brought them closer.  This was undoubtedly the biggest challenge they've faced in their lives and they should be that much closer for it.  Brad had helped her in the past esp. through her surgeries and now he is on the receiving end in a major way and is extremely grateful for her help. 


"we are a family and we will always be a family ...We are and forever will be a family."  --  She repeatedly emphasizes that they are, always and forever will be a family.  She is making a strong and definitive statement that she and Brad are and will forever be together.   She is saying that the bond between them will never be broken.  In other words, she is saying they will be partners for life.  


"My whole, my family… we’ve all been through a difficult time. " --  We've noted from the start how her use of "family" was meant to include Brad. 


"Right now, I’m going through a moment when just everybody’s in my room.  Two dogs, two hamsters and two children at the moment. It’s wonderful. But, usually, I just wake up trying to figure out who’s going to get the dog out, who’s going to start the pancakes and did anybody brush their teeth.”  

When she wakes up in a room with "two dogs, two hamsters and two children" and asks "who’s going to get the dog out, who’s going to start the pancakes and did anybody brush their teeth," it's clear she is addressing specifically the occupants of the room.  When she asks, "did anybody brush their teeth," she is obviously asking the two kids who woke up with her -- not the rest of the kids like Maddox who are not in the room.  When she asks, "who's going to get the dog out (of the room)" she is also addressing those in the room with her.   And when she asks "who's going to start the pancakes" -- a task she and Brad have shared that the two children have not been known to do -- she is addressing Brad who is also waking up in the room with her.  And she said, "It's wonderful."

She had previously said, "If you ask any of the kids about us...  Daddy makes better pancakes than Mommy."  She previously said, "School is at 8:30. We get up at 7:30 and make breakfast."

In an interview with the Guardian two years ago: "Right now Jolie Pitt “family sleep time” – a sort of camp out in the master bedroom – is becoming a thing of the past. “Some of them still want to come hang out in our bed, but some are really starting to like their privacy.” --  So they're now down to just the two youngest.


People's tone and coverage has drastically changed since Saturday when Mary Green resumed writing about them.   They are now careful to say "Since her divorce filing from Pitt."  As we've noted the filing was just a temporary measure , a structure that housed the safeguards for the children's ability to heal properly away from Brad and under the guidance of their therapists.


BBC was also careful to say "an incident occurred that led to your separation."  There was no mention of divorce or even the filing. 


While promoting By The Sea she said (all sources below):
We thought, this is the best honeymoon because we felt, as the film says in the end—whatever you go through, weather the storm and stay together. It was a message to each other of we are going to weather whatever comes and we are going to stick together so that was nice.
And again
So many times, people divorce very quickly. To me, if this film has a message, it’s that you have to try to weather the storm together no matter what. And that’s a beautiful thing.”

They are revealing things slowly and guiding expectations.  I feel that we may be getting a more in-depth interview with Mary Green or another journalist they've had a relationship with soon.


******


Wasser 12/1:  "it is incumbent upon us to help this family achieve their long-term reunification goals in a smooth and expeditious manner."

Joint Statement 1/9:  The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification."

BBC 1/20:  "We are a family and we will always be a family, and we will get through this time and hopefully be a stronger family for it....We are and forever will be a family. I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer."


The family has achieved its reunification goals and is now a reunified family after having successfully completed the therapeutic process.  As a result, she is able to say confidently and definitively that they will forever be a family, whole and intact.   She will make sure that the experience will have made them better, wiser, stronger and closer.

-- Fussy


******




















By @alexiafedz
Angelina Jolie opened up about her shocking split from Brad Pitt for the first time since filing for divorce.
The actress and director spoke to BBC World News‘ Yalda Hakim in Cambodia in an interview that was released on Sunday. When asked about the split, Jolie revealed that it had been a “difficult” time for her family.
“I don’t want to say very much about that, except to say it was a very difficult time and… and we are a family and we will always be a family, and we will get through this time and hopefully be a stronger family for it,” she said.
Jolie, 41, was in Cambodia to promote her new directorial effort, the film First They Killed My Father. The mother-of-six said she was coping by maintaining a focus on her children: Maddox, 15, Pax, 13, Zahara, 11, Shiloh, 10, and twins Knox and Vivienne, 8.
“Many, many people find themselves in this situation,” she said. “My whole, my family… we’ve all being through a difficult time. My focus is my children, our children… and my focus is finding this way through. We are and forever will be a family. I am coping with finding a way through to make sure that this somehow makes us stronger and closer.”
Since her divorce filing from Pitt, 53, Jolie revealed that her children and pets have been trying to find a normal rhythm.
“It’s been a difficult few months. Right now, I’m going through a moment when just everybody’s in my room,” she said, laughing. “Two dogs, two hamsters and two children at the moment. It’s wonderful. But, usually, I just wake up trying to figure out who’s going to get [the] dog out, who’s going to start the pancakes and did anybody brush their teeth.”
When asked where she saw herself in five years, Jolie couldn’t help but realize she’d have a house full of teenagers by then.
“At that stage, I hope just standing,” she said, joking about being outnumbered. “In five years’ time I would like to be traveling around the world visiting my children, hoping that they’re just happy and doing really interesting things, and I imagine in many different parts of the world, and I’ll be supporting them.”
“Everything I do I hope is that I represent something, and I represent the right things to my children, and give them the right sense of what they’re capable of, and the world as it should be seen,” Jolie added. “Not through the prism of Hollywood or through a certain kind of life, but really take them into the world, where they have a really good sense and become rounded people.”


******


Below are relevant quotes from them pre-September

WSJ


The Examined Life of Angelina Jolie Pitt

....

Says Pitt, “When Angie has a day off, the first thing she does is get up and take the kids out.  This is the most important ‘to do’ of the day.  No matter how tired she might be, she plans outings for each and all.  She has an incredible knack for inventing crazy experiences for them, something new, something fresh. I may be the bigger goof of the pair, but she invents the stage.”

....

It also doesn’t sound as though they have to worry much about Mom and Dad as a unit either. “When something happens in your life that’s a dramatic thing, you either pull together or you go into your own,” Jolie Pitt says, referring to By the Sea and the trauma that drives a wedge between Roland and Vanessa. “So many times, people divorce very quickly. To me, if this film has a message, it’s that you have to try to weather the storm together no matter what. And that’s a beautiful thing.”



Sydney Confidential 11/ 2015
I wonder, after so many years together, has marriage changed anything between them?
“I don’t think so,” the star reflects.
“If anything, it challenges you because you really start to think about the rest of your life. You feel very tied. It’s interesting for me having his last name.
“Everything you do becomes as ‘wife of’… which is an interesting transition.”
The biggest step for the couple, she goes on, “was when he adopted the kids. That was something. Because you can always get divorced, but you can’t walk away from parenting.
“That was a big, not a hard, thing, but I really wanted to make sure that nothing would go wrong for the kids.”



 inquirer

Angelina Jolie on directing, and life with Brad Pitt and their kids

By:
 ....
 So can you talk about that—you just had your wedding and you had to direct Brad.
....
We thought, this is the best honeymoon because we felt, as the film says in the end—whatever you go through, weather the storm and stay together. It was a message to each other of we are going to weather whatever comes and we are going to stick together so that was nice.
 ...

What have you learned over the years about relationships? What do you tell your children about relationships?
Those are heavy questions like I am in a therapy session. But you are right, it’s good and I should be asking myself this. I think I have learned a lot. There is a discussion on compromise. I feel the opposite. I feel like you have to really maintain yourself and you have to help the person you are with to be the best version of himself. You need to really stay… [the way] you are and make sure that you are not asking him to bend in a way that is not natural to him.
That is what I learned. It’s also very important to have a common goal. That’s what keeps people together—your moral fiber is the same and you have something that you are doing together that matters. You have purpose and certainly children are the easiest way to have the sense of purpose together because no matter what, they are first.
I try to talk to my children a lot about anything. If they ever hear their mommy and daddy argue, we try to explain to them what we were talking about and why and most of all, you want your children to be able to ask you questions. Like we say to them, did you have fears and are you worried? If their friends’ parents are divorced, they want to sit down and ask us questions and want to know.


As Angelina Jolie awaits the release of 'Unbroken,' she says directing husband Brad Pitt brought them 'closer'

Her WWII survival drama, about Louis Zamperini, is set for Christmas Day; she teams up with Pitt in 'By the Sea' 

....

 Jolie tells the Daily News that directing Pitt while the two made her marital crisis drama, “By the Sea" — opening next year — made her fall in love with him more.

“It brought us closer,” she says.

 “The scenes on ‘By the Sea’ were so tense that we let out (any stress) on camera. There’s really heavy fighting in it, so I think sometimes the crew felt like, ‘Mom and Dad are having a fight!’ — because Brad and I are the producers too,” she said. “Success or failure, it’s all on us.

“But it was all oddly freeing. We both wanted to do something as artists ... and push each other. So we got this opportunity to go out there and play.

“I had missed being that free as an actor, and to do that depth of work, and what a pleasure it was to do it with Brad, because I really saw him as an actor, not just the man I loved,” she says. “In the end, it was an amazing thing, because there’s no actor who wants to help me more, or push me more as an actress, or give me more as a director or writer than my husband, and there’s no man I want to see succeed more than him. We were so there for each other.”
......


telegraph

'Angie and I were aiming for a dozen': Brad Pitt on kids, marriage, and being directed by his Wife

A middle-aged husband and wife, playing a middle-aged husband and wife at a critical moment in their marriage – it does not take long for Pitt to make the leap, as if he has not only been anticipating the discussion but can’t wait for it.

'Certainly the attrition rate of Hollywood couples looms large.’ He swigs from his bottle of water. 'And I’m surprised how much our history – Angie’s and mine – means to me. That we have this story together. That we know each other. That we watch each other getting older, through amazing moments, joys, pains.’

He repeats the phrase with a sense almost of wonderment in his voice. 'That we know each other. It means so much to me. 'I don’t know. I’m just surprised, because you hear people talking about the old ball and chain, and people trying to recapture youth, as if that’s the impulse – but it’s not the impulse, it’s not the impulse at all.’

But isn’t that what you enter into a relationship expecting – or at the very least hoping for? 'It is. But again, there are no books to tell you what year 12 is supposed to be like, and year 14 and year 23 – no guidebooks. What I’m saying is, I’m surprised how much it means to me, how much value I place in it. I’d equate it to having kids.

Everyone talks about the joy of having kids – blah, blah, blah. But I never knew how much I could love something until I looked in the faces of my children.’ Pitt, 51, and Jolie, 40, are parents to six children, three biological – Shiloh, nine, and seven-year-old twins Knox and Vivienne – and three who are adopted: Maddox, 14, Pax, 11, and Zahara, 10.

It is a family unit that he describes as 'a lot of love, a lot of fighting, a lot of refereeing; a lot of teeth-brushing and spilling… Chaos, total chaos. But so much fun.’

It was always his dream to have a big family, he says. At college he had a friend with whom he would sometimes stay who had five brothers and two sisters. 'It was absolute mayhem on the weekends, and so much fun. His mom would be making breakfast for everyone, throwing eggs and pancakes around, and I thought, that’s the way I want to do it.’

He laughs. 'Listen, Angie and I were aiming for a dozen, but we crapped out after six.’ His own upbringing, he says, was 'never that raucous’. Pitt has a younger brother and sister. He grew up in Springfield, Missouri, where his father ran a trucking company – a Baptist upbringing, 'with all the Christian guilt about what you can and cannot, should and shouldn’t do’. (He now describes himself as an atheist.)

His father was 'very, very tough’, but not, he says, in the 'father knows best’ way. 'He could be a softie. But one thing my folks always stressed was being capable, doing things for yourself. He was really big on integrity – and that informed a lot of what [we] try to do now.’

Is Pitt the disciplinarian in the family? 'I am with the boys.’ He smiles. 'Girls do no wrong so I don’t have to be. I feel like my job is to show ’em around, help them find what they want to do with their life, put as many things in front of them, and pull them back when they get out of line, so they know who they are.’

....

Hello

Angelina on Brad as a father:

"It's such a beautiful and sexy quality in a man when he takes his responsibilities as a father very seriously.

"I still get very emotional when I watch Brad play with the children – he is so naturally devoted and joyful around them."

Brad on the meaning of their beautiful day:

"I was surprised afterwards at the effect that getting married has had on us – it was more than just a ceremony, it meant a real depth of commitment. I feel like a married man – I really do."

Angelina on her adopted son Maddox encouraging their relationship:

"He just out of the blue called Brad Dad. It was amazing.

"We were playing with cars on the floor of a hotel room, and we both heard it and didn't say anything and just looked at each other.

"So that was probably the most defining moment, when he decided that we would all be a family."

 Angelina on building a family with Brad:

"He has expanded my life in ways I never imagined. We built a family. He is not just the love of my life, he is my family. I hold that very dear.

"I suppose what I've learned from Brad is to be able to have the kind of family whose happiness and well-being comes before your own."

Angelina on being lovers as well as parents:

"The children certainly tie us together, but a relationship won't hold if it's only about the kids.

"You also must be really interested in each other and have a really, really wonderful, exciting time together. We do. Brad and I love being together. We enjoy it. We need it, and we always find that special time."

Angelina on what she loves about Brad:

"I am very lucky with Brad. He is a real gentleman, but he is also a real man's man.

"He's got the wonderful balance of being an extraordinary, great, loving father, a very, very intelligent man and physically he's a real man."

 Angelina on their friendship:

"After all these years, we have history.

When you have history with somebody, you're friends in such a very real, deep way that there's such a comfort, and an ease, and a deep love that comes from having been through quite a lot together."

 Brad on their love life:

"She's still a bad girl, delightfully so. It's not for public consumption."

Brad on letting their children know they love each other:

"There are no secrets at our house. We tell the kids, 'Mom and Dad are going off to kiss.' They go, 'Eww, gross!' But we demand it."

 Brad on Angelina as a mother:

"One of the greatest, smartest things I ever did was give my kids Angie as their mom. She is such a great mom. Oh, man, I'm so happy to have her."

 Brad on the noisy Jolie-Pitt clan:

"There's a constant chatter in our house, whether it's giggling or screaming or crying or banging. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I hate it when they're gone. I hate it.

Maybe it's nice to be in a hotel room for a day – 'Oh, nice, I can finally read a paper.' But then, by the next day, I miss that cacophony, all that life."



People

Brad and Angelina: Their Evolving Views on Marriage, in Their Own Words



Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie once vowed never to get married until everyone in America could legally do so.
Below, check out the couple’s evolving views on the topic, in their own words, dating back to 2006.

October 2006
“Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able.”
Pitt explains to Esquire why he and Jolie are not ready to wed

July 2007

“We’re not against it. It just doesn’t seem necessary. He and I have never discussed it in detail, but I would assume – because we [both] went down that road before – it’s not that contract or that ceremony that makes you feel solid. We’ve gone the back way around, and maybe there is something to that – that it’s the hard work and the exhaustion and the children that really do make you solid.”
Jolie to Marie Claire

June 2008

“People have made a lot out of it that we’re not, but we both have been married before, and it’s very easy to get married, but it’s not easy to build a family and be parents together. And maybe we’ve done it backwards, but we certainly feel married.”
Jolie to Vanity Fair

August 2008

“When someone asked me why Angie and I don’t get married, I replied, ‘Maybe we’ll get married when it’s legal for everyone else.’ I stand by that, although I took a lot of flak for saying it – hate mail from religious groups. I believe everyone should have the same rights. They say gay marriage ruins families and hurts kids. Well, I’ve had the privilege of seeing my gay friends being parents and watching their kids grow up in a loving environment.”
Pitt to Parade

June 2010

“[We’re not] against getting married. It’s just like we already are. Children are clearly a commitment, a bigger commitment [than marriage]. It’s for life.”
Jolie opens up to Vanity Fair
RELATED: Brad & Angelina’s Top 10 PDA Moments

May 2011

“The kids ask about marriage. It’s meaning more and more to them. So it’s something we’ve got to look at.”
Pitt tells USA Weekend

August 2011

“[There’s no] secret wedding.”
Jolie denies in a Vanity Fair interview that she’s pregnant, adopting and tying the knot

September 2011

“The kids are putting on the heat. They really are. They are putting on the heat. How do you I get out of this one? Somebody help me. I don’t know what the future holds.”
Pitt to Ellen DeGeneres on her talk show

December 2011

“The kids asked me the other day, and I asked them if it was just because they wanted to have a big cake. They see movies that have the people getting married in the movies or somebody’s, you know, the happily ever after. Shrek and Fiona are married. We’ve explained to them that our commitment when we decided to start a family was the greatest commitment you could possibly have. Once you have six children you’re committed.”
Jolie to Christiane Amanpour in interviews that aired on Good Morning America and Nightline

January 2012

“We’d actually like to [get married] And it seems to mean more and more to our kids. We made this declaration some time ago that we weren’t going to do it till everyone can. But I don’t think we’ll be able to hold out. I’m not going to go any further. [But] it means so much to my kids, and they ask a lot. And it means something to me, too, to make that kind of commitment.”
Pitt to the Hollywood Reporter about his changing stance on marriage

January 2012

“We’re getting a lot of pressure from the kids. It means something to them and they’re, you know, they have questions when their friends’ parents are married and why is that? … We will someday. We will. … [But the kids say], ‘Get mommy a ring!’ Okay, I will, I will.”
Pitt in an interview with CBS News
“I think anything said tends to be blown out of proportion.”
Jolie to PEOPLE on the red carpet at the Screen Actors Guild Awards when asked about the recent flurry of "ring talk," which Pitt says was "his fault"

November 2012
“I am getting more pressure from my kids, and it is something I want to do within their lifetime. The time is nigh. It’s soon. I got a good feeling about it.”
Pitt to PEOPLE at the Killing Them Softly film premiere in New York

May 2014

“We will get married, and we’re not really in a rush, so we’re just waiting for it to be the right time with the kids, with work, when it feels right. We talk about it occasionally, and the kids talk about it with us. Which is verging on hysterical, how kids envision a wedding. They will in a way be the wedding planners. It’s going to be Disney or paintball – one or the other! We’ve got a lot of different personalities in the house. They’ve got some strong opinions. It will be fun. That’s the important thing. When we do it, it will feel like a great day for our family.”

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