Friday, October 14, 2016

Random Fuzzy Thoughts

People, with egg on its face after its earlier report was exposed as inaccurate, now concurs with Us on Brad's visit with the kids.

Since all seem to be in agreement that the Us report is correct let's look at it more closely.

They both agreed to accept the DCFS' recommendations on Sept 30 but it took a week before the initial visit could take place on Oct. 8.

We know that a therapist was present as per the DCFS guidelines but only "some" of the children were.

If it was a question of one or more of the kids being sick, the visit could have been postponed until all were well.  The kids are home-schooled and it was a Saturday, so scheduling conflicts with school work could not be an issue.

It took them a week to schedule this first visit so every attempt would have been made to gather as much of the family together so that the therapist could make a sound recommendation for future visits. Recall that the the presence of the therapist was only required for the initial visit and "the therapist then has the power to either allow Brad subsequent unmonitored visits or insist on being present whenever he's around the kids."

So I assume that the kid(s) who were not present did not want to be with their Dad at this time.  That despite therapy, they still hadn't forgiven him enough three weeks after the incident.  And that means the kids likely to have been absent were Maddox and possibly Pax.

According to reports,  the DCFS was told that Brad was "verbally abusive and physical" on the plane. His defense centered on denying physical abuse, but we can only surmise that what he said during the hours that he was  "yelling" verbal abuse was far more harmful -- and with more lasting effect -- than any physical contact. 

Brad would surely have heard from the kids who saw him what the plane ride was like for all of them.  Even if they were not the target of his tirade, being stuck in a plane for hours with a parent yelling abuse and getting physical with one of their siblings would be very traumatic.

He was drunk for most of the ride and likely had a dulled sense of reality.  That may be why he seemed to be in denial about the severity of his actions. 

Whatever illusions Brad had about that plane ride -- his claims that reports were "exaggerated" or "fabricated" or that it was a "normal verbal disagreement" -- he now knows the gravity of the damage he inflicted.  His entire family will have to go though therapy and counseling just to recover.

When Angelina said her focus was to "heal" her family, she was likely referring to healing the bond between Brad and the rest of the family.  The problem was not between the two of them, in fact, it sounds like she may have already forgiven Brad.  The problem is between Brad and the kids.

The kids that agreed to see Brad are probably closer to forgiving him.  But Brad still has to work on rebuilding his relationship with them back to what it was before the plane ride -- so that they can forget the image of him on the plane.

And for Maddox he will need to work much, much harder.  Maddox has always struck me as being the cooler-headed and calmer of the two older boys.  At 15, he is the most intellectually mature, the one who would have been able to process deeply everything Brad said and did.  And he was on the receiving end of Brad's tirade.  His hurt and the accompanying trauma would run deep -- as we can already see.  Even after Maddox forgives, Brad will need to earn back his trust and respect.

And this is on top of the work Brad needs to do on substance abuse and anger management to make sure that his behavior on the plane is not repeated.

Healing the family isn't simply a case of Angelina withdrawing her petition and all of them returning home. 

What is clear is that healing will take time.  They have all been in therapy with more counseling lined up and all those will certainly help.  But the deepest, most sensitive wound and the one she is probably most concerned about is Maddox'. And it looks like Maddox is healing very slowly.   So even if she withdraws her petition, it will be a while before they can all go home.

So what would the family's road map to healing look like?

The biggest hurdle is Maddox healing enough to forgive his father.  Brad can keep having visits with the rest of the kids while Maddox continues to heal.

The next step would be if everyone is comfortable being around Brad on a regular basis -- they could then consider moving back home.

The final, long term steps to healing and rebuilding could continue with the family already back together.

Angelina and the therapist can help Maddox and the other children heal to the point where they are able to fully forgive Brad, but repairing the relationship back to what it was is a long road for Brad alone.

-- Fussy


  1. It's the DCFS that determine : Look

    Frequency of Visits

    Visitation frequency should correspond to the child’s age and developmental stage and be consistent with the family’s permanency goal. The frequency guidelines in the chart below pertain to face-to-face visits. While additional communicative means such as phone calls, letters, etc. can and should be used to strengthen the bond between parent and child, they are not to be used as an alternative to face-to-face visits. The Team shall utilize the following developmental guidelines in establishing the frequency and duration of visits:

    Developmental Visitation Guidelines
    Age Frequency/Duration of Visits

    0 – 6 Months • Daily visits are optimal.
    • Families should visit at least three times a week for 30-60 minutes.
    • During this developmental period, the focus should be on short, frequent visits.

    6 – 12 Months • Families should visit at least three times a week for one hour.
    • Children in this developmental period begin to attach to caregivers. Therefore, visits should be scheduled so as to verify the parent as the child's primary caregiver.

    1 – 4 Years • Families should visit at least twice a week for 1 1/2 hours.
    • Separation during this timeframe can create developmental problems for the child. Potential separation anxiety necessitates frequent visits for a longer duration to affirm the parent’s role as primary caregiver.
    • All desires from verbal children should be solicited and considered.

    5 – 12 years • Families should visit at least once a week for two or more hours.
    • Children in this developmental stage can tolerate more time between visits.
    • Note that once the child starts school, the visitation plan should be expanded so that the parent can attend school/community-based activities as well.

    13 – 15 Years • Families should visit at least once a week for two or more hours.
    • The Team must take into consideration the child’s desires.

    15 – 18 Years • No recommendation regarding the specific frequency/duration of visits.
    • Child’s desires should be strongly considered in creating the FVP.

    1. So it sounds like its DCFS who determines the schedule of visits and frequency by the ages you listed above, which would probably mean their visits were possibly at different times so all the kids would not have joined on the same day. Makes sense now. Thanks

    2. I think the DCFS guidelines assumes that all the kids in the family fall between those age brackets. I don't think it is the intention of the DCFS to split the family based on age so that a parent only sees those 5 - 12 one day and 13 to 15 another day.

      In the case of Brad and his kids, the report only mentions the initial visit. Recall that the DCFS recommended a therapist be present for the initial visit and the therapist could then decide if future visits still needed to be supervised. If the DCFS intended for the children to be split into different age groups they would have mentioned multiple visits. But that really would not have made sense as it would be a strain on all concerned with no perceivable benefit.

    3. Also note that the DCFS says "families should visit". That's the whole family.

    4. That explains why Maddox might be missing from the meeting due to the DCFS Visitation guidelines Bia posted.

  2. With just 12 days between the first visit and the end of the period on Oct 20, I think the DCFS will tailor a schedule specifically for them and will not feel bound by what looks like a longer term schedule such as what you've posted.
    Also, while I think more visits helps the whole family, Maddox will have to come around at his own pace.

  3. I don't think Angelina is the type of mom who's going to talk Maddox out of it and will force him to forgive his dad. It seems like she is letting him take his time to process everything that has happened and giving him all the time he needs to heal and eventually forgive his father for his actions. Brad needs to earn his forgiveness and his trust back. I am hoping they can / they will resolve this issue in the future and so that, maybe, when this is all over, they can finally all move forward and be as one family again.

  4. This goes to show that these rags don't really have reliable sources as they keep contradicting each other....surprised TMZ has been quiet lately. uS Weekly is one of the worst. Thei cover 2 wks ago just proves how low and filthy they are. But I do love reading your analysis so keep'em coming.

    1. I agree about US regarding that cover and then yesterday they made it seems as though they have even been communicating with Jolie's sources by stating "A Jolie source adds that future visits may also be monitored."So their still trying to throw her under the bus. After what they did with that cover I doubt anyone is talking to them from her side and if they are she needs to shut it down and get rid of them fast.

    2. Us are shading Angelina at every opportunity they get and yet try to make out lies that Angelina's team have gave them information, Us should be ashamed of themselves, every tabloid has been caught lying People Magazine have no shame they printed Brad already had seen the all the kids and now are coat tailing Us.The genral public isn't as gullible as they think they are.

  5. Recently found your blog fussey, and I must say, so happy I did. Grateful for your thoughtful, reasonable, respectful posts. There are few places that people who admire and are routing for these two can go for that.

    When news first broke it was one wild speculation after another, each more outlandish than the last. Looking back, imagine how that must have contributed to the pain they all were in. For some reason the press has always taken license with their lives because of $$.

    Regarding Angelina’s petition, I wonder if she needs to keep her petition in place as a mechanism to satisfy herself, that Brad's is complying with the agreement. Trust but verify. She needs to ensure he upholds his end for the sake of the children and their relationship, at least until the 20th. IDK obviously, but your theory feels sound about the current dynamic.

    Remember Brad suffered a shoulder injury over the summer. He may have been on pain killers at the time and if he continued indulging in recreational substances, the combination could have contributed to this mess. He never had a reputation for this behavior before. But whatever, he needs to get clean and fix what is broke. This is his come to Jesus moment -that’s a metaphor!

    The 4 youngest children must be confused and miss their daddy and want their home and lives back. Imagine the pressure on Madd and maybe Pax to heal so that can happen. Rough…

    And lastly, Mrs. Pitt should ship her English lady companion’s home and get them out of their lives. She doesn’t need them now anyway, the UN work will be greatly diminished for the time being, which is another casualty of this event.

    1. People need to stop trying to tell Angelina how live her life.
      Even at this difficult time Angie will not be neglecting her refugee work or anything else that needs her attention.
      She is not someone eho lets people down.
      You speak if a respectful blog, then proceed to shade two women, who predume you do not know.

    2. Hi Agility,

      Nice to have you around. I started to write because I was getting frustrated with what I was reading.

      I didn't know about Brad's injury. Interesting since it corresponds with the period when they apparently started having problems over his "parenting style."

      She filed to "protect the kids" so if she feels they no longer need "protection", there is no need to keep the petition in place. I am sure she explained to all the kids that she filed and why. I wonder if she asked them now what they wanted her to do what they would say. She would listen to their wishes but the vote would have to be unanimous for her to act.

      I also agree if the two English ladies don't get along with Brad she needs to listen and reconsider. She doesn't have to cut all ties but they don't have to be a constant presence. They could just stay in the UK.

  6. Although if it really isn't her intention to see the divorce through, she could withdraw it now as it has already served its purpose - Fuzzy, what do you think it`s the likelihood of this happening? I don`t know. with Maddox clearly being very hurt and the fact that no reliable source talks about reconciliation and that they love each other and want their family back together it`s make me lose hope.

    1. She filed to protect the kids -- from Brad and maybe from any action by the DCFS. The DCFS has already signaled it is OK with her keeping the kids. So if Brad shows he has solved his problems and Maddox is OK being with his Dad, the kids no longer need protection